Memoirs of a Batgirl
by Rubelle
Summary: An elseworlds version of Barbara Gordon's career as Batgirl and her interactions with figures such as Batman, Wonder Woman, Supergirl, Wonder Girl, but most importantly Dick Grayson. First of the Memoirs of Heroines series.
1. Chapter 1

I was six years old when I first met my best friend.

My mother had recently died, and my father was trying his hardest to keep me from falling into sadness; one of his ploys involved tickets to Haley's Circus, the traveling group that visited Gotham three times a year. I was waiting for my dad to get popcorn and cotton candy when I saw a boy standing beneath the ladder to the high wire, looking like he desperately wanted to climb up; even more, he looked to be my age. I walked over to him, and although he was proud at first, he started to relax as he explained the trapeze to me. His thick mop of black hair did nothing to dampen the bright blue eyes that shone out. I liked him immediately, and I would have stayed to talk longer, but my father found me to tell me that the show was about to start.

The show was amazing: the gymnast family known as "The Flying Graysons" held the crowd in awe, and at the very end, when they came out to bow for the crowd, two members hoisted the boy I had been talking to onto their shoulders. I was kind of jealous—they looked like such a happy, complete family.

After that, every time the circus came to town, I was there; Dick, for that was the boy's name, and I began to meet up before and after every show. I was allowed a behind the scenes look at the circus, all courtesy of my best friend. I met and became part of his family (just short of running away with them); I even got a lifetime ticket to the circus as long as it ran in Gotham.

Of course, by coming to every show, I was there when it happened.

One night, when I came early to see the new elephants Dick had wrote to me about, I was greeted by a very excited Dick. He regaled me with the story about how the night before, some gang members had tried to strong arm the circus into paying heavy protection fees. Dick had called the police (which my father had failed to mention) but before the police arrived, the Batman had appeared and scared off the gangsters, even catching one as a present for the police.

My father had told me all about the Batman, the vigilante that had started to fight the stranger forces of the city. He had the police in a tizzy about how to deal with him: whether to stop the encouragement of vigilante services or get the crime off the streets.

When the show started, there was a new buzz in the crowd: billionaire Bruce Wayne was there to see the show.

By this time, Dick, who had turned eleven just a month before (I still had a month to go) was part of his family's show, but he didn't come in until halfway through the set. I still thank God everyday for that little fact. I still remember the look of horror on his face as he reached helplessly to his falling parents, victims of an altered trapeze.

I was up the ladder, holding onto to a shocked Dick before my father had even made it to the bodies below. He let me stay with my best friend, slowly coaxing him down the ladder and onto one of the bleachers after the tent had been evacuated. When my father called me to him to let me know that he would be working late to figure out what had happened, I saw Bruce Wayne approach my hurting friend and discuss something with him. I was amazed at how gentle the billionaire was—he draped his jacket over the young boy and held him carefully by the shoulders. When Bruce walked up to talk to my dad, I found out that he intended to adopt Dick. That was the only happy detail of that night.

A few days later, after the funeral, I went Wayne Manor for the first time. Bruce and Alfred were very pleased that Dick already had a friend, and arranged it so that I could come over virtually whenever. Even though Dick was still broken over his parents' deaths, he was at least a little happy to have me nearby. I was allowed to call one of the many guest rooms my own, but that night, even after we had separated to go to sleep, I found myself awake in the middle of the night, holding my bawling best friend.

"Their never coming back," he whimpered, "everything I've ever known is gone."

"Not everything," I said, pushing his hair out of his eyes, "I'm still here. I'll always be here for you, Dick."

"Not Dick," he said suddenly.

"What do you mean?" I asked, thoroughly confused.

"Call me Robin; that was the nickname my parents gave me."

"Ok," I said, nodding, "Robin it is."

For the first time in days, he smiled. When I woke up the next morning, he was fast asleep next to me.

Two years went by, and Robin and I were still best friends. I was the only one who called him Robin, and only when it was just us. Even Alfred and Bruce thought I called him by name.

One night, my father burst in to the house, unbelievably angry. When I asked him what was wrong, he informed me that the Batman now had a sidekick—a young boy that went by the name 'Robin'. I felt my heart freeze, but I forced myself to stay calm and let my dad continue ranting about how irresponsible the Bat was for letting a child fight dangerous criminals. I waited until my dad had gone to bed (he normally slept from five in the morning until noon) and called Robin. Ten minutes later, a town car appeared outside.

When I finally got to Robin, I confronted him immediately. He didn't dare deny it, I knew all of his tells. He just stared at the ground while I ranted the way my dad had.

"Why Robin?" I finally asked, "Why put yourself in such danger?"

"Because not even the Batman can stop him."

I turned immediately to find Bruce standing behind me, decked out in full Batman gear. While I stood there, gaping at the man I thought I knew as just a playboy billionaire, he turned to my best friend. "How did she figure it out?"

"Barbara is the only other person currently alive who knows my old nickname."

"You probably should have thought that one through," Bruce sighed, then shook his head and looked back at me, "Come Barbara, you deserve to know, seeing as you figured it out."

I followed Bruce and Robin in a daze, down the secret elevator and into the Cave. It was huge, and so much more amazing than I could have dreamed. There were two chambers: the top held the computers, training equipment and several antechambers that led to bathrooms, showers and surgery; the bottom held the transportation.

"No one can know about this Barbara, especially your father," Bruce warned me, but I hardly even thought about it. The Batman was the one thing my father and I disagreed on; I would never compromise my hero.

Now, ever since I had met Dick and seen the show, I had pursued gymnastics. I had gone to several competitions and even won a few medals. When I found out my friend's secret, I asked simply if they would mind me being allowed to train with them. I wanted to be able to protect myself; who better to teach me than the Batman himself? Dick and I trained side by side, both of us growing at the same rate; and yet I never once considered joining their late night escapades.

Dick, however, did all the considering for me.

One night, while we were training, the boys received a distress call. Most nights, when this happened, Alfred would simply drive me home. Tonight, however, when Alfred came down the elevator, he didn't lead me to the garage. Instead, I found myself in a room filled with materials, sowing machines and all the makings of a tailor's. Just as I opened my mouth to ask Alfred what we were doing here, I saw it.

Set on a mannequin that seemed to fit my exact measurements was a beautiful suit similar to the one my best friend and his mentor wore. It was a black dress with black leggings peeking out underneath; over the shoulders sat a blue cape that was yellow underneath. The bat symbol on the chest, as well as the gloves and boots were a beautiful blue, and the cowl had a hole at the back to allow my hair out. It was perfect.

After I had it on, Alfred led me through simple movement exercises and a utility belt tutorial. By the time the boys got back, I felt like my suit was a second skin.

Bruce was furious at first; I think, more than anything, he was afraid of how he would explain to my father should anything happen to me. I showed him what I could do, and with Dick and Alfred behind me, the Bat eventually relented.

My career as Batgirl had officially begun.

It was about this time that things began to change between me and Dick. I guess it was only to be expected, we were both thirteen, just starting the difficult process of puberty, and there were hormones everywhere. I loved my best friend dearly, but he was beginning to worry me; he was becoming cocky and insufferable, preferring to be with the popular crowd, with a new girl on his arm every two weeks than remain the same wholesome boy I knew. I still had my friends Kara, Megan and Courtney, and Dick and I still spent plenty of time together, but I started to enjoy that time less and less.

He was incredibly sarcastic and cynical, and teased me about my sparring style. I never put my all into sparring with him, mostly because I knew I could hurt him if I didn't pay attention, and even with his terrible attitude, I couldn't bring myself to hurt him.

But there was also the issue of my dad.

As the new police commissioner, my father had started a war against vigilante superheroes. He believed that the 'Bat Family' was encouraging reckless behavior and a brand of justice separate from the law. I fought with him every night about going easier on the Bats, especially considering they left the criminals to the hand of the law, but he wouldn't have it. It became a trench between us.

I became the one bridge between the police and the Batman, and all of the tension between the two fell on my shoulders. When I wasn't fighting with my dad, I was quietly taking Bruce's anger; he snapped at me for things far beyond my control, and Dick didn't stand up for me anymore. Those days he followed Bruce's word to the letter. Both of them gave me hell for nothing, and even though I pride myself on being a patient person, I was reaching my breaking point.


	2. Chapter 2: The Flight

Three years ago, the tension finally came to a head.

We were in a warehouse that must have formerly been used to mix chemicals or something. There were huge empty pools in neat lines on the walls, and a raised metal walkway that hung from the ceiling branched out in equally symmetric paths over the pools. Although most of the walkway had metal guards the end of each branch was open, as if they were intended for dumping ingredients into the pools.

I was fighting on the walkway, focused on one of the branches, and a barrel that was on its way to the pool that Batman and Robin were fighting in. Outside, I could here gunfire, but I knew Wonder Woman was taking care of it; she was in town for a few weeks, and had started to tag along. She had been present a few of the times Bruce and Dick had started bugging me, and although she seemed confused and intrigued by the abuse, she had yet to actually say anything about it.

I jumped over another clay minion and leapt towards the one pushing the barrel. The clay men were mindless, but resilient. I heard Wonder Woman let out a whoop as she flew in, and I realized with a start that the gunfire had ended all together. She was good.

But I had no time to focus on her entrance to our fight, as the barrel had arrived at the edge. I shot my grappling gun to connect with the guard rail next to it and swung over to the opposite; it took me two seconds to tie the barrel in place so that it wouldn't move.

I almost missed the clay fist that came swinging at me from the left; I dove over the guard, intending to swing back under and land back on the walkway, only to find my path blocked by a huge man in ripped black shorts. Everything about him was wrong, his face was lopsided, like it was melting and reforming before my eyes.

"Looks like I've caught myself a bat," He laughed, but his voice sounded like gravel. The melting made his smile that much creepier. His huge hands clapped over mine with a grip easily stronger than Bruce's.

"So Birdie," he growled, pulling one of my hands free of the railing, so that I was dangling precariously above the solid concrete, "Are your friends going to save you now?"

I looked down, quickly taking in my options; my only grappling hook was holding up the barrel, and nothing would stop him from snapping the line if I left. I had to take him out, even if that meant I dropped either way.

I pulled a throwing bomb from my belt, and looked up into the empty, melting eyes, "I don't know what they'll do," I said, "But I know what I'll do."

I shoved the bomb into his stomach and let go of the railing. The top of Clayman disintegrated from the blast, and I closed my eyes, pleased that I at least managed to do something instead of just hitting the concrete. I expected to feel pain, but none came; instead, two strong arms caught me and lowered me gently to the ground. I opened my eyes to see Wonder Woman staring at me in awe. A painful yell echoed above us, and we looked up to see a cloud of dust swirling angrily on the railing.

"You will pay for this!" The cloud yelled, and disappeared into the night, leaving several lifeless clay bodies behind. Clayman was gone.

"How could you?"

I cringed, and turned to see Bruce and Dick climbing out of the pool, angry.

"You let him get away!"

"Oh," I said, standing to face him, "And I suppose that's never happened to you before, right?" My sarcasm surprised even me; for the most part, I treated Bruce with the respect I believed adults deserved. My snap only fueled Bruce's rage.

"You could have held him there, at least until one of us got there to take care of him."

"Batman," Wonder Woman tried, but Bruce ignored her.

"No, instead you let him get away! Is it because you would rather have your dad catch him? Because you want daddy to be right?"

I felt like I had been slapped in the face. Wonder Woman was no idiot; from that tidbit and what she knew of my appearance, she could figure out who I was in no time flat. Frustrated and beyond patience, I ripped off my cowl and threw it at Bruce's feet.

"I am so tired of this!" I screeched, looking him straight in the eye, "I don't know why you blame me for my dad's actions, especially when all of my conversations with him are arguments trying to get him to stop!" I held my head, taking a few calming breaths, "I'll wait, I'll just wait for it all to blow over, then maybe-"

"Who said we even wanted you?"

Dick's voice was so cold, it broke my heart. I heard Wonder Woman gasp, but Bruce made no motion to suggest that Dick was just being stupid.

"Fine," I whispered, willing my tears not to fall. I turned on my heel and ran out of the building, into the streets, trying to escape the feeling of total betrayal in my heart. I had no destination, I just kept to dark streets and alleys, avoiding people in general. I would have kept running until morning, had two hands not closed on my shoulders and stopped me.

"Barbara?" She tried gently, and I burst into tears. I knew she would figure it out in no time. Wonder Woman pulled me into a hug, whispering and cooing to me like a mother or sister as I sobbed over my ruined vigilante career. And yet, a few minutes later, the tears were gone.

I heard the familiar woosh of the Batmobile, and I flinched and looked for a hiding spot, in spite of myself. Wonder Woman looked out towards the noise, eyebrows knit in decision. Finally, she pulled me into an embrace and lifted off the ground, flying away from the abandoned buildings toward the high rises of downtown. I looked back and saw the blue shine of the Batmobile as it scoured the streets. They would never find me; if I had my way, Dick wouldn't know until the first day of high school that I was even remotely ok. I cursed when I realized that that was in two days.

Wonder Woman carried me to the top floor of an apartment complex and let me climb in the window before she hovered in herself. It was a nice apartment, but plain, as if she didn't plan on staying very long.

"Make yourself at home," she said, grabbing a pile of clothes from her dresser and walking towards the bathroom, "I'm Diana, by the way."

Diana Prince, I realized immediately; I had met her a few days ago at a police fundraiser.

"Barbara, as you know," I dropped on the bed.

"I have some extra clothes in the drawers, all sizes, you know," she stuck her head out the door and winked at me, "Just in case."

I moved to the drawers, and looked inside. My favorite brand of tank tops, in all different colors, rested within. I pulled out a blue one, and a black denim skirt; I left my uniform on a heap on the floor and looked back out the window. The blue streak was still combing the streets.

"I almost forgot!" Diana said, walking back out in jeans and a t-shirt. I didn't think I'd ever see her so casual, "I grabbed this for you." She presented me with my cowl. I held it in my hands, feeling the familiar fabric beneath my fingers, before casting it to the ground with the rest of my costume.

"Why do that?" She asked, confused.

"I doubt I'll be using it anytime soon."

Diana considered my reply, and picked up my costume, taking it in. "This is a beautiful costume. Are you ready to give it up that easily?"

"It's not a matter of wanting to give it up," I replied, feeling somewhat numb from emotion, "I became a hero at the behest of my best friend. You heard him, he doesn't want me anymore. When all my help accomplishes is arguments, its time for me to step back, and walk away; whether I want to or not."

"But if you really want to do it…"

"How would I get my gear? How would I know where the action is? How would I make myself separate from Batman and Ro-"

The mere mention of him made me want to cry again. He was my best friend for eight years, and he had turned his back on me so easily.

"Why didn't you tell them about the barrel?"

Shock spread through me. "What?"

"In the warehouse," she prompted, "I saw you stop that barrel from pouring on them. I checked after you left, when I was trying to prove a point to them. It was filled with chemicals that made Clayman, well, Clayman. You saved them."

"What did they say?"

"Hm?" It was her turn to be surprised.

"You said you were trying to prove a point: what did they say?"

Her silence spoke volumes.

"See?" I said, looking at my hands, "they don't really care. If they had found me before you did, I would have just had a worse talking to." I stood up and walked to the window, checking to make sure that the blue light was still there. "Thank you, for picking me up and bringing me back here. It means a lot, especially coming from you. But I think I need to go. I'll have to drop off my stuff at the Cave before they…" I watched the light turn down yet another street, "get back."

"What if it was a different town?" Diana said suddenly, "What if you had access to everything you needed?"

She had pinned me with a hard stare, scrutinizing my every movement.

"Well, yea," I said, suddenly unsure, "If I had that, I'd be golden. But I don't, and I won't—not without getting in severe trouble anyway."

"Barbara, what would it take for you to stay in the game?"

Diana had a feverish look in her eyes, like she was desperate.

"Why is it so important to you?"

"Because," she said, walking towards me with a slow step, "Tonight, I saw the spirit of one of my sisters. You were willing to face certain death to protect the ones you loved, with not even a second guess to your own safety. I don't want you to have to give it up because those idiots can't see what I see. You need to keep going, and I am more than willing to help you become everything you were meant to be."

"I'm not nearly as strong as an amazon,"

"Not that kind of strength!" She cried, and pointed at my heart, "Your heart is stronger than any human's. With the right training, you could be an Amazon! And I am more than willing to give it to you."

"But," I was desperate to find a flaw; this seemed too good to be true, "Where would we go?"

"Anywhere, everywhere! It doesn't matter! We could go wherever you wanted, do whatever it takes to get you the training you deserve. What do you say?"

She held out her hand, and I saw two roads in front of me. I could stay on the road of heartache and disappointment, or I could leave Bruce, Dick and even my dad behind, and get stronger. I could become a better person—everything I wanted to be. It didn't matter that I was only fourteen.

I took Wonder Woman's hand, "What do I tell my dad?"

Diana's smile was the biggest, brightest smile I had ever seen.

Waking up the next morning was more difficult than I thought it would be. Diana had dropped me off at my house, and promised to drop off my uniform at the Cave for me. I didn't want it anymore, and I had decided immediately that if I was going to leave Gotham and reinvent myself with Diana, I would need to reinvent my alter ego as well.

But when I woke up, and the weight of the night's events dropped on me, I wanted to cry again. My very best friend was gone. I tried to curl up, and just hide away, but I quickly realized that my father was talking to someone downstairs. With a start, I realized that Diana must have already arrived to talk to my dad.

I grabbed my robe and walked as calmly as I could downstairs, and seemed surprised to see Diana calmly talking to my dad. She saw me first, and smiled widely.

"Good morning Barbara! Did you think over my proposition?"

"I did," I said, before I turned to my dad, "What do you think?"

"Well," he said, the way he normally did when he was trying to think through the details of a case, "It would be quite the wonderful experience for you—traveling the world and still having access to a complete education. But three years? I don't know Babs, that seems like a long time."

I smiled and took his hands, "Dad, I thought through all the same things. How many girls my age get the chance to be so well-traveled and still be an education equal to those who don't? It may be three years, but I guarantee those years will fly by; I might even get to visit you when we're nearby. At the very least, you know I'll call you every night, and write to you with pictures of all the amazing places I'll get to see. But more than anything," I said, squeezing his hand, "You know that you raised me to be smart in the face of danger, and that even if I am a little girl, I'm your little girl: I still remember every safety lesson you've ever given me."

"I may not seem like much," Diana added, placing a hand on my shoulder, and meeting my dad's worried gaze, "But I can promise you that as long as Barbara's with me, she will be perfectly safe."

"Diana said that if you do this, you'll be leaving tomorrow afternoon."

"I can get the plane tickets in no time." Diana confirmed.

My dad looked at her, then looked down at where his hands met mine, clearly thinking it through. "Well then," he finally said, patting my hand and looking me in the eye, "I guess you better get packing."


	3. Chapter 3: The Return

Present

I never thought I would be happy to be in Gotham again; after thirty minutes of driving down the dirty streets, the happy feeling was readily replaced with a feeling of disgust and boredom. I had seen so many beautiful cities in my travels, and now Gotham didn't come close to holding the same sense of awe.

My mind turned, instead, to the implications of my arrival. Three years had past since Diana and I had left. I had grown from the silly young girl of my past into the cultured woman I could now call myself. In that time I had constantly written and called my dad and my friends Kara, Megan and Courtney—I had even been in Metropolis when Kara had her accident—but not once in those three years had I seen or heard from Bruce or Dick, although I had written to Alfred several times, on the promise that he would keep it from the Masters.

"You're nervous,"

I looked over to where Diana sat, fixing some imaginary blemish in her make-up as the driver navigated the dirty streets. In the past three years we had become sisters, and she had taught me the way of the Amazon. That didn't even come close to making me Wonder Girl (we had met up with Cassie in Athens, before she decided to move to Gotham to see what all the fuss was about); instead I had created my own persona of Nightingale, which Diana had greatly approved of. Now I fought in a black skin suit with a blue bird drawn across the chest, complete with boots given to me by Diana's mother, which allowed for flight, a pair of bracelets that increased my strength, and a black denim jacket. I still had my yellow belt though, and it still held all of the weapons I had been trained in by Alfred and Bruce.

And yet Diana's calm observation was completely accurate: I could feel the heavy knot of apprehension growing in my stomach.

"It's been three years,"

"Yes," Diana said, snapping her compact shut and looking at me, "That is what we agreed on, Little Sister."

"But I can't help but wonder," I turned back to the window, and the image of the dirty streets I used to know so well, "How much has changed in those three years? And most importantly, does Gotham have enough room for Nightingale, or will it only accept Batgirl?"

"Nightingale saved citizens all over the world," Diana said, putting a hand on my knee, "It's for you to decide if she makes her nest here."

I frowned and looked back out the window. Like it or not, I had laid Batgirl to rest three years ago. Even if I were to wear the mantle again, she would be irreversibly changed.

The driver pulled up to my house, and while Diana paid him, I pulled my bags out of the car. From a cracked window, I heard an excited squeal and a chorus of "shushes" coming from my house. Diana looked worried, but I brushed it off with a shrug; my dad had let slip a hint that my friends were planning on surprising me. While Kara and Cassie knew my secret, Megan and Courtney were in the dark. While I was quite sure that I could trust them, I knew better than to take the risk, especially with my detective father.

So I cautiously opened the door, casing the place as I called out, "Dad? Dad, it's me!" All at once I heard several excited shrieks and heard what sounded like a herd of elephants charging down my stairs. All four of my girls engulfed me in a group hug, each laughing and crying about how happy they were to have me back. I knew Kara and Cassie were holding back because they could have easily caused internal damage with their hugs.

"Three years is way too long!" Kara declared, holding me in place by my shoulders, "We had to go through most of our high school experience without you!"

"Yea," Courtney laughed, "Just wait until we catch you up! Especially when it comes to Di-"

Megan shot her a look, and I knew immediately that I needed to hear whatever it was they had to say. But one look at my dad, who was patiently waiting for the crowd to calm, told me I had to wait.

With the promise that I would be up in a minute, I shooed the girls back up to my room, and turned to my dad. We stood there for a minute, taking each other in, before we closed the gap with a hug.

"Kara was right," He murmured, "Three years was way too long."

"I missed you," I said, suddenly afraid that he might disappear.

"You have no idea darling,"

Diana coughed suddenly, calling our attention back to her.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I need to be going. Barbara, after school on Monday, I was hoping you would accompany me to visit some old friends."

I felt my stomach harden, but I kept my face calm, "Of course, I'd love to."

She leaned in to give me a hug, and whispered, "Bring your uniform and your mask." She pulled away and smiled, "I'll pick you up from school."

My dad and I waved her off, and when she was gone, we turned back to each other.

"She did a wonderful job," he said, surveying me, "You look like a grown up."

I felt my cheeks grow warm, and I hugged him again. I could have stayed there longer, but Kara poked her head down the stairs and warned, "Barbara!"

My dad laughed and patted me on the shoulder, "The faster you get up there, the faster they'll be gone. Go on," he gave me a friendly push to the stairs. I laughed and hauled my bags up to my room, only to be pulled in by four pairs of arms and set neatly on the bed.

"So," Kara prompted, "What was it like?"

"It was amazing!" I gushed, flowing into stories like the time I was in Paris, or when we went to Berlin, or even my time in China, all of which also had interesting paths that included Diana and me fighting some baddie or other, although I didn't mention those stories.

"But I think you really want to hear about StarCity," I smiled, hinting at the importance of the story. The girls leaned in, and I dove into the abridged version of my story.

"It was our second to last stop on our trip, and we went to see Star Bridge," _because there were bad guys on it_, "And while we were there, the bridge began to shake, like an earthquake, and we realized that there was a super-baddie on it—I think his name was Tremor, or Tremblor or something—and he could create shockwaves. Well Diana and I were stuck on the bridge," _Because Tremor definitely didn't want us to leave in good shape_, "When one of the support cables came out and swung straight toward us," _Because Tremor threw it at me_, "When this guy came out of nowhere," _Because he was the sidekick of another hero_, "and pulled me out of the way! He was amazing! And when we turned around, Tremor had been taken care of by the heroes of Star City," _Me, Diana, Green Arrow and Speedy, to be exact_. "We found out that my savior was in a similar mentor program as I was, except he didn't travel around as much as I was. So we got to talking, and well, when he came to wish us good bye…"

"Oh my god," Courtney said, "Please tell me he kissed you!"

I gave a sneaky grin and the girls dissolved into 'ohs' and 'you naughty girl's. _Who knew a man in a mask could kiss so well?_

"Well?" Kara demanded, "What was his name?"

I thought back to when we had parted, and the hug we shared after the kiss, and the two words he whispered in my ear.

"Roy Harper," I said, grinning in spite of myself.

"Was he cute?" Megan asked immediately.

"He defines hot,"

The girls squealed and giggled, but the talk about Roy made me think of another sidekick. Courtney's comment had been bothering me.

"So what were you saying earlier, about Dick?"

Courtney, Megan and Cassie looked at Kara, who sighed and took up answering.

"You know how before you left, Dick was getting the reputation of having a new girl every two weeks?"

"Yeah, I remember timing it with you guys to get an average." Besides, how could I forget?

"Well, since you left, he still only dates girls for two weeks, but," she put up a hand to my impending question, "Now he has a single preference."

She was drawing it out, but I knew how hard it would be to get her to answer clearly if I bugged her about it.

"Which is?" I prompted.

"Redheads."

In my head, 'redhead' meant only one thing: me. My insides froze.

"So?" I said, trying to shrug it off, as if his preference had nothing to do with me.

"Don't even try that!" Megan cried.

"You know the exact importance of his choice!" Courtney added.

"Do you have any idea how many questions he threw at me after you left? I felt like I was being interrogated! And then his sudden thing for redheads? Read the signs, Babs!" Kara was being dramatic, "He missed you, and I think your leaving brought up some feelings-"

I stopped her there. The mere idea of Dick being in love with me after everything he had put me through made me feel sick. "Oh please!" I yelled, attracting all of their surprised attentions, "You want to know what he told me before I left? Before I even decided on leaving? He said that he didn't need me anymore, like I was one of his two-week girls!" I held my head in my hands; all of the feelings I had pushed aside were flooding back in—all the hurt and betrayal from before. "He broke my heart, he was my oldest friend." I shook my self and sat up straight, "And after three years, he doesn't matter anymore."

Courtney and Megan looked thoroughly shocked by my declaration, but Cassie was nodding, as if she was proud of me for giving him up. Only Kara saw through my words, but for once, she didn't push; instead she took one of my hands and gave it a squeeze.

Even though my friends were there, and I had a full wall of support surrounding me, the future suddenly loomed, ominous and dark. The mere mention of Dick had brought my old pain to light, and god only knew what seeing him on Monday would do.

Anxiety took hold again.

After the girls left, I sat down with my dad, and related many of the same stories, except the one including Roy. When I finished, he sat back in amazement.

"Wow, you really did travel all over the world, didn't you? I can hardly believe it!"

"It is a little amazing to think about." I agreed, "So, what happened in Gotham while I was gone?"

"Well," he was trying to figure out where to start, "Let's see. We're on much better terms with the Batman now." My heart soared. "Bruce Wayne gave us quite a hefty donation…oh, let me think… Actually, it was just after you left. We've been able to modernize our department quite a bit. And as for Dick, well," he grinned a bit, "he's come out quite a bit; but he's definitely shaping up to be the same playboy Bruce is! Still," he said, shaking his head, "He's a pretty good kid. Are you gonna call him at some point?"

"No," I said, skating the line between truth and caution, "I think I'll just wait to see him at school on Monday."

I could tell I had taken him off guard. When I had left, I had simply asked him not to tell Dick, because we had fought, and I would talk to him when I was ready. When I had called to talk to him, he never mentioned Dick, I think because he was waiting for me to be ready. But now that the three years were up, I guess he had expected us to be close again.

"I don't know what happened between you two, Babs, but you have known him since you were six. Don't you think it's worth giving him even the slightest chance?"

"Dad," I took his hand, "When I've decided that he's worth it, I'll give him whatever chance I think he deserves. But I want him to prove he's different, not give him a chance to play me."

"Ok," he said, relenting, then looking at the clock, "Good lord! It's nearly midnight! You have school in the morning!" He pulled me into a hug, kissed my forehead, then pushed me towards the stairs, "Go on, get to bed."

"With pleasure," I answered, suddenly exhausted. I would need all the energy in the world to make it through tomorrow with a whole heart.

On Monday morning, I pulled on a white denim skirt, blue tank top, and the black jacket of my costume, as well as my boots and bracelets. My hair went up into two messy buns, and my bangs curled up so that they didn't fall into my eyes. After my three years with Diana, I had learned the power of a little make-up, and so I quickly applied my normal set up of eye-shadow and lip-stain. When I looked in the mirror, I realized for the first time, just how much I had grown in the three years since I had last used this mirror. I briefly wondered if my friends would recognize me.

My dad dropped me off at school, and when I climbed out of my car, Kara and Cassie were immediately at my side. They looked me up and down, and nodded in approval.

"Who are you, and what have you done to Barbara Gordon?" Kara asked. I laughed and punched her (lightly, allow I doubt she would have felt it). "Seriously," she said, as we began to walk toward our first class, "You look like a totally new person."

"Yea, honey," Cassie agreed, "Just look around."

I had already been casing the campus, "What's your point?"

"Every boy, and even a few girls are totally checking you out!"

She was right, of course; every male eye did appear to follow me as we walked. Humble as I am, I can't deny that my training left me without any unnecessary curves or pudges, and my muscles were well toned; but both Cassie and Kara also fit that bill. Why focus on me?

As we walked, I noticed a rather large crowd gathered around a tree in the quad; when I tried to see what they were surrounding, I saw a mop of black hair, and when the crowd parted for a moment, I saw Dick, and the pair of scantily clad boobs he had on his arm.

"That's disgusting," I said, turning to Kara and Cassie, who had already seen the girl, and were cringing as well.

"I never said he dated nice redheads," Kara clarified, but even she seemed surprise at how low he had gone.

"So this is what High School is like," I told Kara as we walked to our History class. It was the only class I had with Kara, Cassie, Courtney and Megan; so while I was looking for them, Kara was busy checking out the rest of the student body around us, and taking another count of the boys checking me out. Still somehow, she managed to see Megan first.

Megan was trying to get past a group blocking a doorway; I realized with a start that it was our history classroom.

"What's up Megan?" I asked, but she and Kara managed to share some telepathic distress signal, and they both started to pull me away. "Guys, what the hell? We need to be in there!"

"Not quite yet we don't," Megan said, looking over her shoulder at the crowd, while Kara started looking for an alternate route.

"Why not?" I asked, but a moment later, when the crowd parted to reveal Dick, who was apparently supposed to be in that classroom, I had my answer. "Seriously?" I asked no one in particular, before I broke free of Kara and Megan's grip and walked up to the crowd. "HEY!"

The crowd stopped its chatter and turned to look at me.

"You're blocking the door," I was annoyed, and it showed, "Mind, oh, I don't know, moving?"

Shocked, the group parted, and revealed a very startled and confused Dick standing in the doorway. Kara and Megan were gaping at me.

"Thank you," I said, still annoyed as I pushed past Dick and into the classroom, with Kara and Megan murmuring apologies as they followed me in. I quickly found Cassie and Courtney, and the three seats they had saved for us. They gave me a mock applause as Kara and Megan caught up.

"Damn, girl!" Courtney smiled, "I didn't know you had it in you."

"Had what in me?"

"That fire!" Kara cried.

"Yea, Babs," Megan said, "You used to be quieter than me!"

I realized they were right; three years ago, I had to shout to be heard, now I could control a room with a whisper. "I guess I've grown up a bit."

None of them seemed completely satisfied with that answer, but right then, the bell rang and the teacher stood at the front of the room.

"First things first," he said, like a warden addressing prisoners, "Seating chart." He waved a binder at us, and the entire class groaned. He pointed to the first chair, "Kara Kent."

Kara grumpily moved her bags to the indicated seat, while the teacher pointed to the next chair, "Bette Kane." A pretty blonde sat in the indicated chair.

"Megan Morse,"

"Stephanie Brown,"

"Dick Grayson,"

"Barbara Gordon,"

Four heads whipped around to see my reaction, but I was perfectly calm. As I walked up to my new desk, I watched in disgust as Dick's eyes looked me up and down, and smirked. I rolled my eyes and sat down, building a mental wall to my right, so that I could more easily ignore him. As the teacher moved on down the rows, Dick leaned over and nudged my arm, shattering my wall.

"Long time, no see," He greeted me the way he used to at the circus. So he did remember that much.

"Too bad," I said, eyes glued forward.

"What's too bad?" He asked, genuinely confused. I turned to him, and looked him up and down the way he had looked at me, then met his eyes and smiled.

"That I came back to this."

My comment shocked him, as he looked like he had been slapped. Before he could come up with a reply, the teacher started the lesson.

When the lesson was over, our teacher allowed us to socialize; Dick attempted to say something, but his crowd, and Cassie, who was sat behind me, cut him off. When the bell ran, the five of us escaped before Dick had a chance to catch us.


	4. Chapter 4: Confrontation

When school finished for the day, I left Courtney at the lockers, and found Cassie already waiting in Diana's car at the pick-up area. As soon as I got in, she took off. But instead of heading towards Wayne Manor, she took me back to her apartment.

"I thought we were going to the Cave," I said, but I followed them in anyway. Diana opened the door and pointed to the bedroom, where I was to change into my costume.

"We will go," she answered as she went to change in her bathroom, "But we're going covertly."

"Alfred?" I asked, as I zipped up my suit.

"He'll be picking us up on a grocery run. Thanks to him, Bruce and Dick won't know we're coming." She gave me a smile I couldn't help but return. The thought of sneaking up on the Batman was incredible tantalizing. "According to Alfred," Diana continued, "Bruce and Dick have taken to working out right when Dick gets home from school, so we'll be walking in on them."

I could have jumped for joy. I pulled on my jacket and released my hair to fall in waves over my shoulders. I put on my mask and looked in the mirror; Nightingale looked back.

Diana came up behind me, and put a hand on my shoulder.

"And Cass?" I asked, but Cassie grinned at me from the doorway.

"I don't like working with the boys," she smiled, "They get in my way. Now that Auntie Di is back, I don't have to train with them either, so I'm quite done for now."

I envied her a little; it was like she had held my place for three years, and her complete pleasure at giving it back seemed to show how difficult my place had been.

"Are you ready to go, Little Sister?"

When I looked at us in the mirror, I realized how much I looked like Diana. It suddenly felt like every trace of who I was three years ago had disappeared, and I had been replaced with a new, fiercer version of myself.

I definitely wasn't Batgirl anymore.

When Alfred picked us up five minutes later, he spent a full five minutes hugging me and gushing over how grown up I was and how those three years had been completely worth it, and how happy he was that I had written to him, and how he didn't go into any more detail than my dad had when he was interrogated by the Masters Bruce and Dick. I thanked him profusely through my deep blush: Alfred always knew how to make me feel loved.

The minute the car door closed, Diana and I began to remove our street clothes and Alfred began to explain our mode of entry.

"Now, I will pull into the garage and, because Master Bruce knows that I went for groceries, he will think it is only me. Behind the water heater in the garage is one of the many back entrances to the Batcave, used only in case of emergencies. The sound is muffled within the tunnel, so that no one can hear people moving within. Even if you were to trip down the stairs, no one would hear you. Once you make it down the staircase, there will be three tunnels, take the one to the right. It will place you on the main floor, which is where they work out. There will be plenty of shadow, which you should take advantage of. Once you make even the slightest noise outside of the tunnels, they will hear you. And, from what I've been told," he smiled at us in the rear view mirror, "You'd rather sneak up on the young masters."

I returned his smile, but I couldn't form words; ever since he had started explaining our entrance, the knot in my stomach had thickened. I was about to face, head on, the source of my flight from Gotham. Alfred pulled into the garage, and as he pulled his groceries out of the car, Diana and I made our way to the staircase. Diana turned to look at me, and quickly assessed my anxiety. She placed her hands on my shoulders and gave me a reassuring squeeze.

"Just think of Athens," she suggested.

I remembered that night well. Diana and I had snuck into the tunnels below the Parthenon to find the band of Amazons that had taken up residence there. We were even more surprised to find that they were holding audience with Hippolyta, Diana's mother. Instead of killing us, however, the Queen of the Amazons listened to my plight and gave me my bracelets and boots.

My anxiety fell to excitement, and we started down the staircase. It was pitch black in the staircase, but thankfully there was a railing to hold onto. The passage really was sound proof; whenever Diana said something, it sounded like she was whispering.

The staircase lasted for about fifteen minutes; I only noticed the change when Diana came down heavily on her foot. I adjusted my stance accordingly. Diana put her arm out suddenly to stop me, and she tapped the star on her tiara; the light caused the three tunnels Alfred mentioned to appear from the dark. We moved to the right tunnel as instructed, and Diana put out her light again, so that we returned to darkness.

The shadow only lasted for about five minutes though, as soon the light from the cave began to show clearly. Diana and I adjusted our steps for silence, as we had no clue when the muffling would end. As we got closer to the exit, I began to hear sounds of sparring.

Sure enough, when Diana and I paused in the shadows of the cave, I could see Bruce and Dick fighting in the middle of the room, although they seemed to be talking at the same time. Diana put a finger over her lips, and pointed to one of the support beams above them; we hovered quietly up to it as the boys were sparring, so that we were suddenly completely privy to their conversation.

"Well," Bruce was saying, "I can definitely see why she's so angry." He dodged a kick to the head, "we were angry at her for no reason."

I knew it.

"Yea," Dick said, ducking under a punch and throwing another, "But I thought that after three years, she might have forgiven us a bit." He seemed so lost, and for a moment I was reminded of the little boy at the circus, and my heart hurt for him. Then I remembered the image of him giving me elevator eyes, and that stupid smirk, and the sad feeling was gone.

"Maybe I should invite the commissioner over for dinner. I'm sure I can distract him long enough," Bruce blocked another punch, "for you to talk to her."

Diana smiled at me, and spoke before I could stop her, "Or, you could try talking to her now."

Bruce and Dick spun quickly, landing in fighting stances, although it took them a minute to figure out where we were.

"Wonder Woman?" Bruce asked.

"Barbara?" Dick whispered, as if he didn't believe it was me sitting above them.

"Yes," I answered, trying to strain all emotion from my voice, "It's me."

Bruce and Dick dropped their stances and stood so that they were almost directly below us. Dick shook his head.

"You left," he stated, as if that made any difference.

"I was under the impression that Batgirl was no longer needed." I feigned checking my nails.

"But _you_ were,"

I let a little bit of the hurt and anger into my voice, "Had me fooled."

Dick winced and stepped back, like my words had caused him pain, but Bruce continued, "Then why come back?"

"Amazonian training takes at least three years to complete," Diana answered for me, placing a hand on my shoulder, "I gave her the opportunity to reinvent herself. Batgirl is no more."

"Who are you then?" Dick asked, seeming almost genuinely curious.

"Nightingale,"

"So you're stronger now?"

I thought of the cuffs on my wrists, and the boots on my feet. "You could say that."

"Does that mean you're back, to stay?"

"I am planning on completing my school year here, but if I'm not welcome, I can say I'll be gone as soon as I graduate."

Bruce sighed and picked up a towel to mop off his sweat, "Barbara, we owe you an apology."

"Damn straight," I heard Diana mutter under her breath.

"We were wrong to take our frustrations out on you. You were caught between warring parties and did nothing but try to stop the war peacefully. I'm far angrier with myself that it took you leaving for us to realize it. You will be always be welcome here, just as you were always welcome before you took up your mantle."

I pushed off from the beam and floated down, attracting looks of awe from both Bruce and Dick, but I cut off their comments with my own.

"My dad told me about the donation you gave the Police Department after I left, and that the Department and the Bats are on much better terms. I'm warning you now; if anything starts back up, regardless of whose fault it is, I'm leaving, and I will never come back." I put out my hand, "Agreed?"

He frowned but took my hand nonetheless, "Agreed."

"For what it's worth though," I said, taking a deep breath, "I forgive you. I know first hand that my dad can be frustrating."

Bruce smiled, for the first time I had seen in a while, "Thank you, Barbara, that's all I can ask."

"Well, since we're here," Diana said, landing next to me, "How about a training session?"

"I'm up for it," Bruce said, "Dick?"

"Sure," he answered, then he turned to me, "Wanna spar?"

I smiled, which was probably a shock to him, "I thought you'd never ask."

Before my trip, I would have dreaded this match, but now, I had nothing to prove or lose; I could fight without holding back.

Dick smiled slightly as he took his stance, whether for nostalgia sake or because he thought he had the match in the bag, I'm sure I'll never know. At Bruce's word, Dick started the match with a kick to the head. I ducked to avoid the foot, but straightened and grabbed it before he could pull it back. Instead, I pulled his leg towards me just enough to shake his balance before I threw his foot away, throwing his balance completely, and swept his other foot from under him. He landed heavily, but before I could move to pin him, his legs wrapped around mine, and I found myself on the ground. In a moment he was on top of me, holding my wrists behind my back.

"I really missed you Babs," he said, and I could just hear the grin in his voice; I forgave Bruce, not him. He was hovering above me, giving my foot a clear shot at his crotch. "Really? Cause you seemed happy to be rid of me when I left." He crumpled when I kicked him, and I rolled over, straddling him correctly; I sat on his stomach and held his chest down with one hand and blocking the strikes from his hands with the other.

I did not expect him to push up and grab me in a bear hug, and roll so that I was under him again, "Weren't you paying attention?" He asked, exasperated, "We were wrong—I was wrong to push you away." He pushed my shoulders down so that I had to look him in the eye, "After you ran off, Bruce and I spent the whole night looking for you—it was only after Alfred radioed in to tell us that Diana had dropped off your uniform that we quit. We decided to give you a day to cool off before trying to approach you, but by then, you were already gone, and nobody would tell me where you went! Even Superman knew more about it than I did!"

I was stunned for a moment; Kara had told me that Dick had interrogated her, but I didn't realize just how many people he must have tried to get information out of. I really had left him with no reason other than impulsive anger. For a moment, all of our shared memories came rushing back to me, and for a moment, I remembered how much I loved him. Then I remembered how he had 'grown-up' in the year before I left, and my anger returned in full force.

I pressed two points on his arms, causing him to crumple and giving me the chance to roll and pin him again. It was his turn to look me in the eye.

"You were my very best friend; half of my childhood was spent with you. Then you turned thirteen and it was like I didn't matter anymore, only your popularity. You treated me like dirt even though I did nothing but love you and wait for it all to be over. I have no reason to believe that the Dick I loved is anywhere near you—all I saw today at school was a seventeen-year-old version of the boy I left three years ago. You had no reason to hurt me, but you did it willingly. I don't care how much you missed me, because I don't see any reason to believe that anything has changed between where we last stood. I may accept that you realize your mistake, but that doesn't change a damn thing."

"Why not? You've spent one day watching me from the sidelines, and you haven't talked to me in three years. How on earth could you possibly know who I am?"

"Seriously? You gave me elevator eyes this morning. You surround yourself with sycophants and a pair of boobs that you'll probably trade up in two weeks. Go ahead, honey, tell me I'm wrong."

He bit back his response.

"Exactly, you haven't changed. And I am not going to try to rediscover our relationship, because I would just be counting the days until you hurt me again. I refuse to let you do that."

"I don't want to hurt you Babs," he seemed genuinely hurt that I would think so.

"Of course you don't want to; that doesn't mean you won't."

"You really don't trust me anymore, do you?"

"What was your first clue?"

He frowned and in a moment I was back underneath him, pinned again.

"I'm sorry Babs." He said, then pushed off me and walked to the changing room. His voice caught me though; it was so genuine, so clear, so pure. It was the voice women fell in love with. I sat up, ripped off my mask and threw it away, beyond frustrated. He had done it again, he had gotten under my skin, and I had let him.

I was angry and hated him; I was melting and in love with him.

Nothing had changed.


	5. Chapter 5: Boys

It was dark when I left Wayne Manor, eager to escape the rage I felt when looking at Dick. Diana had stayed behind to talk with Bruce, but I knew we would catch up later. Instead, I flew around the city, staying high above the buildings, where no one would really pay attention. When I finally landed on my own roof, I was even angrier at myself.

"Someone had a rough night."

I turned to see Kara and Cassie lounging on my roof, as if they had been waiting for me. Kara was in her blue and red ensemble, while Cassie was dressed down in jeans and a red tank with the Wonder logo on it. Both of them studied me with knowing glances.

"I just got back from The Batman and the Boy Wonder," I said, throwing my mask down.

"Aw, did little Robin miss you?"

"Certainly seemed like it to me," Kara added, checking her nails, "With all the damn questions he threw at me."

"It was even worse when he found out I had met up with you abroad," Cassie sighed, rolling her eyes, "I only mentioned that I had seen you in Greece, but that you were probably long gone by now."

"I'm kinda surprised they weren't on your news trail," Kara mentioned, suddenly thoughtful, "I mean, I could have found Nightingale anywhere in the news; I did a couple of times. The Bats has way more resources than I do."

"They seemed surprised to see me flying, but I just figured they weren't shocked my new outfit because I left my old one with them." I thought for a long moment.

"Kara, what kind of computers does Clark have in his Sanctum?"

"Why?" She seemed to think I had dropped the subject.

"Because I need to hack into the Cave's computers."

Kara looked shocked, but Cassie laughed.

"Why not just go into the computer yourself? You do have access to the cave."

"But there are alarms everywhere. I'd need one hell of a distraction."

This time, the girls both grinned.

I couldn't believe how well this was working. I was in the cave, and Batman was distracted outside by the arrival of Supergirl and Wonder Girl with a member of the Black Mask's inner organization. I had about five minutes.

I got to the computer and logged in under Dick's password (he thought I didn't know him) and immediately started checking the files. I found several for bad guys such as Joker and Clayman, but there were also some regarding Superman, Wonder Woman, and even Courtney and Megan. As curious as I was as to why they were in the computer, I ignored theirs and went for mine, titled 'Barbara Gordon'.

Kara was right; aside from my basic information, there were tons of news stories regarding my exploits with Wonder Woman. They had known very well where I was and what I had been up to; why act clueless?

I saved my file and information about how to remote access the Cave's system onto a flash drive, logged out, and turned to leave, only to find Dick standing behind me, arms crossed, face completely emotionless.

"I'm pretty sure that is considered stealing." He cocked his head to the side, as if asking me to confirm or deny. I put the flash in my belt then mirrored his pose.

"I'm pretty sure you've been lying."

"About what?" he snorted, as if I was kidding myself.

"My file has a map of everywhere I've been in the past three years. You've known exactly where I've been; you didn't need anyone to tell you."

"Regardless," Dick said, brushing off my discovery, "You should have told me."

"Why on earth would I do a stupid thing like that?" I asked, "So that you could come after me and bring me down farther? So that you could beg me to come back to Gotham, only to have you and Bruce turn on me the minute my dad changed his mind? Leaving without a word was the best thing I ever did."

"I hardly even recognize you now!" He cried, throwing up his hands, "You ask where is the Dick you knew—where is the Barbara I knew? The one who helped me through all of the dark points in my past; the girl who held me until my tears stopped, because she had gone through the same thing. Where did she go?"

I had to fight not to slap him.

"She was laid to rest the night her best friend told her she was no longer needed. Let's get something straight, ok? When we are in the field, I will help you just like I did back then. I will do everything in my power to make sure all of us make it out ok. But do not—for one second—think that that means we will ever be the same."

I started to walk away, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back.

For a fleeting moment, I thought he was going to hurt me; he did much worse. Before I could blink, I was in his arms and we were kissing. Part of me loved it, wanted it, shouted at me to forgive him so that I could have this all the time. Instead, I pushed away from him.

"No," My voice was hollow, as if he had managed to pull something out, "No, you are three years too late for that move, Bird Boy."

Then I ran away, not that I should have worried though; Dick didn't follow me.

The first few weeks of school passed in a flash. Dick didn't bother me; he simply acquired a new girlfriend, Pamela or something. The pair of boobs that had been clinging to him on the first day took it kind of hard though: she threw a fit, almost completely destroying a classroom. Needless to say, Kori (that was her name, as I understand) was quickly moved to a different school.

Kara's cousin Conner had moved to the school as well. Kara told me in private that he was actually a clone of Clark, but after all his problems were said and done, he had been welcomed into the Kent family with open arms. Conner only started to relax by constantly teasing Cassie; she took it well though, and started messing with him back. As far as I knew though, Cassie had maintained her Amazonian belief that men were far more trouble than they were worth, and merely enjoying teasing. There wasn't much I could do about it; even with my bracelets, she was stronger than me. Still, Conner was definitely part of our little group.

Then there was Kara's friend Jimmy, and while it was clear to everyone and their grandmother that those two liked each other, they refused to see it; they seemed to prefer innocent flirting.

Courtney had her long time boyfriend Adam, the only guy I knew besides her stepdad who could take her sarcastic, rebellious attitude. Megan had a pen pal friend in Atlanta or something that she constantly wrote to; she had even met him once or twice, and it was pretty clear she was over the moon for him.

Which left me; when I wasn't fuming over my love-hate for Dick, I was studiously ignoring the other boys on campus. They couldn't come close to Dick or Roy, who I was also thinking about. As sad as I was that he had elected to stay in StarCity, I knew it was for the best: StarCity was his home, and its citizens were his to protect.

My popularity was growing, however, without my knowledge. When the beginning of October arrived, the top ten for the Homecoming Court were announced, and Kara and I were on the list, as well as Dick's girlfriend.

Suddenly I was getting several invitations from many different men, and some women, to the homecoming dance, but I declined all of them. Kara had already designated Jimmy as her date, although those two still danced around the full truth. I was at a loss for who to invite, until one night after training with the Bat boys, when Dick pulled me aside as Bruce, Diana and Cassie (who had been invited to train with her 'Aunt') went to go change.

"Would you like to go to Homecoming with me?" He asked calmly, as if confident I would say yes.

_Why don't you?_ I asked myself, _Say yes!_

"What about Pam?" I said instead, mentally kicking myself.

"I'll break up with her." As if it was so simple.

"No hints, no clues, no signs whatsoever; you'll just break up with her like that?"

"Pretty much," he said, like it was still so easy.

"Nope,"

My answer broke his confidence with a blast of surprise; he stumbled a bit, allowing me a moment to clarify.

"No, Dick, I will not go to Homecoming with you. FYI, it would probably help your case if you learned to respect the girls you date."

"But think about it," he ignored the respect jab and pressed on, "We could use this as a chance to start over! We could be close again."

I paused, because part of me really wanted my best friend back. _Do it!_ My heart seemed to yell at my head, _give it a chance!_

"And you would probably win Homecoming Queen."

That comment shut down all chance of me saying yes; I turned so quickly, I'm still not sure if he registered how angry I was.

"Seriously? You think I need _your_ cocky ass to get me a crown? Hell no! I will win on my own, thank you. If that's what being 'close' again means, I don't want it. And let me tell you-"

Before I could continue chewing him out, the sirens in the cave went off, and a map of Gotham appeared on the screen, as well as a little blinking dot indicating trouble on one of the suspense bridges located around the city. Bruce, Diana and Cassie ran back out, and without many words, Diana, Cassie and I took flight, while the boys jumped into the batmobile.

We had the bridge in sight when I saw the first shockwave; it seemed to pick up the buildings and drop them several feet, crushing most of them immediately. Diana and Cassie, who were still flying forward, didn't seem to notice before it hit them, and they went flying sideways. I dove back to the Batmobile and crossed my bracelets, creating a shield that stopped the wave from sending the car flying as well.

"What was that?" Bruce asked over radio.

"Some sort of shockwave," Diana groaned, while Cassie simply shook herself off and continued flying to the bridge. I followed her, both of us racing neck and neck to get there before the next wave went off. Cassie stopped when she saw Tremor, but I kept going, punching him at full speed.

My blow made him teeter slightly, but the brute was quite resilient. Cassie tried to lasso him, but her father's lightning had no effect on the thick skinned golem before us.

"Girls, move!" I heard suddenly over the intercom, but while Cassie had already noticed the support cable flying at us, and moved accordingly, I was a bit slower. I threw up my wrists, and managed to avoid most of the blow, although the sheer force sent me flying over the edge towards the river.

A hand closed around my wrist and pulled me into a safe embrace—one I could hardly believe. I opened my eyes to find Speedy smiling at me.

"You know Birdie, maybe you shouldn't fight on bridges."

Before I could even really react, he suddenly pushed both of us down, narrowly avoiding a chunk of concrete that had been sent at our heads.

"What are you doing here?" I cried, standing up to take in the scene.

"Green and I found out Tremor was on the move, and we decided to pay a visit!" He yelled, before we jumped away from each other to avoid a car. I flew forward, fist connecting with Tremor's jaw. Tremor barely moved, and in the end I flipped over him and landed between Cassie and Diana.

"Is that…" Diana pointed vaguely towards where Speedy and Robin had just run into each other while both trying to hit Tremor.

"Yep," I said, suddenly dismayed.

"So that's…" Cassie pointed to one of the support beams, where a man who looked distinctly like Robin Hood stood, arguing with Batman.

"Yep," I sighed.

"You two are about to see exactly why men can be so annoying." Diana shook her head and jumped forward to focus on Tremor, while the boys were fighting. Cassie shot forward too, but she got knocked out of the way. When I tried to knock him out, he grabbed me, pinning my arms to my sides so that I couldn't move. Like a scene out of King Kong, Tremor started to climb the supports of the bridge with me in tow. Diana and Cassie flew beside him, constantly trying to knock him off, or at least get him to lessen his grip on me.

Below us, the boys were still arguing.

"HEY!" I yelled, getting everybody, including Tremor's attention. "I don't know if you guys have better things to do, but if you aren't completely busy, how about you put your big boy panties on and—I don't know—HELP ME?!"

After a moment of shock, they jumped into action. Satisfied that they might get something done, I refocused on getting out of Tremor's grip. I heard two _twangs_ and a couple of _thwacks_, and turned to see a few arrows sticking out of Tremor's thumb. A moment later, when the arrows exploded, Tremor dropped me with a scream of pain.

I wasn't thinking about flying, and, with the sudden drop, I wasn't thinking about flying. Dick was there in an instant, swinging on his grappling hook; he caught me around my waist, and the safety of his grip allowed me to think clearly.

"Count to three before you let go!" I yelled.

"Three!" He yelled and let go, but I was ready this time. As he dropped, I stayed even, grabbing his hands and carrying us both back to the fight. As we neared Tremor, Dick threw some throwing bombs at Tremor the same moment more of Speedy and Green's arrows exploded. Tremor cried out and let go, falling into the river below.

He didn't come back up.

I floated back down to the ground, making sure Dick was standing before I landed myself. As soon as I did, Speedy was there, hugging me.

"Hey Birdie! Long time, no see!"

"Hey Speedy," I laughed, "Thanks for the help!"

I heard Dick grumble something about 'hurting more than helping,' but I ignored him and hugged Speedy back.

"Do you remember what happened last time we were this close?" He whispered so that only I could hear. Before I could ask him to remind me, Cassie called us over.

"Oi! Lovebirds!" I could have smacked her, "C'mon, we're going back to the Cave. Don't worry," she said, smirking at the look on my face, "Green Arrow and your little lover boy are coming back too."

"But it looks like they'll be riding with Bats," Dick walked up, smirking, "Security reasons."

I wanted to hit him far more than I wanted to hit Cassie. But Roy brushed it off and gave me a kiss on the cheek, "See you at the Cave, Birdie." With that, he and his mentor hopped into the Batmobile, and the car took off, probably taking one of the long ways back to the Cave. Diana took off to follow them, leaving me, Cassie and Dick.

"So that's the boy you were talking about!" Cassie said, giving my shoulder a light punch, "The one from StarCity!"

"What are you talking about?" Dick asked, and I'll admit, I smiled at the hint of jealousy I heard.

"Speedy and I ran into each other when I was in StarCity. We had a bit of fun, you know," I had to bite back my laughter at how red his face got, "Getting the bad guys."

"That was the only fun you had?" He asked, clearly searching.

"Oh Bird Boy," Cassie laughed, taking off, "You know Babs isn't one to kiss and tell!" I covered my laugh with a cough as Dick turned to glare at me.

"Well, did you?" He asked, and I began to realize just how agitated he was.

"Cool it Robin," I said, holding out my hands so that I could carry him back, "I'm allowed to have a fling or two, considering all the flings you've had." His expression confirmed my thought that he really couldn't talk, and he grudgingly took my hand. He stayed in his gloomy silence the rest of the night.


	6. Chapter 6: Queens and Things

Once Roy got to school, life started to pass pretty quickly; I suddenly had a companion I could turn to twenty-four seven who I wasn't afraid of turning on me at the drop of a hat. My girlfriends all approved of him, especially when he managed to stand up to Kara's interrogation without breaking a sweat. The boys took to him right away; both he and Conner had bikes that they seemed to equate to their pride and joy. He introduced Jimmy to a style of photography that made his stories in the school paper stand far above the others.

My dad thought he was a wonderful boy, and completely accepted him as my boyfriend; although I can't say he approved of the bike, or his tendency of taking me to school on it.

Diana had long approved of Roy, and even Bruce admitted that he found nothing wrong in Roy's background. The only person with a problem was Dick. He seemed totally convinced that Roy was going to hurt me. He tried to talk to me about it while we were sparring one night, and I got angry enough that I almost threw him through a wall. After that, Dick didn't talk to me unless we were working and it was explicitly necessary. Sadly, I found it hard to care; the only thing I believed with him was that he was in some state of denial.

"So," Kara said one day as she knocked aside one of the Joker's henchmen, "When are we gonna go shopping for our dresses?"

"Really?" Cassie slammed two heads together before flipping another off her shoulders, "We're gonna talk about this now?"

"She is kinda right, Cass," I said, hoisting one henchman up and throwing him on another, "We should probably get those soon."

"Well, as it is," Kara said, quickly shooting a red beam from her eyes to knock the gun out of an attackers hand before swiftly tackling him, "Babs and I are gonna need two dresses."

"What?" I said, dropping another guy, "Since when?"

"Since Jimmy informed me this morning that we are in the top three,"

"Oh my god!" Cassie cried as she lassoed one man and threw him into another, "Congratulations you two!"

"Thanks," I kicked the guy in front of me in the sternum, sending him into the wall, "But why does that mean I need two dresses?"

"Because," Kara spun and threw a man as if he was a discus, "We need one for the ceremony and one for the dance!"

Cassie whooped suddenly, and I ducked as she threw her latest opponent at the one trying to sneak up on me. I swept the feet of the one running up to my right side before allowing one of Kara's to land on him.

"Why does there have to be a difference?" I asked when we regrouped as another wave of grunts came out.

"Look at it this way," Kara shot forward, firing rapid beams from her eyes to eliminate the guns from the equation, "We are princesses. When have you ever seen a princess wear the same dress twice?"

"But," I blocked a bullet with my bracelets, only to have Kara take out the offender a moment later, "Isn't this technically the same event?"

"They are on different days, Barb," Cassie agreed, lassoing a few and spinning them in a wide circle before releasing them to land on others.

"Fine," I relented, dropping the last two of the enemy and turning to Kara and Cassie, "is Saturday good?"

"I'm supposed to be in Metropolis this weekend," Kara frowned, "How about Friday after school?"

"Ok," I kicked one of the men who tried to crawl for a gun, "I take it Courtney and Megan are going to come too?"

"Of course!" Cassie laughed, "Just because they don't fight crime the way we do, doesn't mean they aren't fantastic when it comes to clothing advice."

I laughed with them, but the comment had brought up the memory of when I had broke into the Cave's computer, and found that both of them had a file. I had a feeling I would need to use the security info I had grabbed along with my file to get back in and see what Bruce had.

My thoughts were interrupted a moment later when a few police officers, and my father's friend Detective Montoya burst into the room, yelling, "Freeze, don't…move…"

"They're all yours," Kara laughed, taking off. Cassie and I followed her, although I tried desperately to not look at Montoya, in case she would recognize me. The last thing I needed was my dad to freak out on me.

Friday appeared in a flash, and I found myself caught in a department store with Kara, Cassie, Courtney and Megan, although I tried my hardest not to focus so much on the latter two. I had hacked into the Cave's system again, and the files I had found had thrown me for a loop.

Megan had figured out my knowledge immediately, not that it should have been surprising, considering her real name was M'gann M'orz, and she was actually the niece of Martian Manhunter.

_It's ok, Babs_, she told me mentally, almost making me jump, _I've known through your thoughts who you were for a long time. It was only a matter of time until you figured me out._

While I was ok with M'gann, and she was perfectly happy with me knowing (_It's so annoying, only being able to talk to one person about who you really are_) Courtney was still ignorant to the fact that I knew she was Star Girl. Looking back, I probably should have seen that one, but I had only met her once, and we were both shy of each other. She certainly didn't know that I was Nightingale.

"What do you think about this one?" Kara asked, almost making me jump again. She was dressed in a body fitting red satin dress, with straps that crossed twice on an otherwise empty back. A long slit up the side revealed quite a bit of leg.

"You look like a Bond girl," Courtney snorted, but I gave her a thumbs up.

"I take it that one is for the ceremony?"

"Exactly," she smiled, happy I was finally learning, "Now I just need a nice party dress for the actual dance."

"How about this one?" Megan appeared from the many racks of dresses holding a cute little white dress. When Kara put it on a moment later, she held everyone's attention; the fabric had several layers, giving the appearance of fabric wrapping around Kara. It hugged her every curve (she only had good curves) and showed of her toned legs.

"That's a yes," I murmured.

"Jimmy's gonna love it," Courtney grinned.

Kara gave one of her rare shy smiles, the kind she normally reserved for when Jimmy complimented her, or picked up her books. But just like that, the shy smile was replaced with a mischievous grin aimed at me.

"Ok Babs, your turn!"

I was thrown into the changing stall next to Kara's and my friends started the delicate process of throwing me several different styles of dresses. Normally, I would insist on choosing for myself, but it had already been made plainly aware that, when it came to myself, I was far too modest with my choices, and required stylists.

The choice for my ceremony dress came when I pulled on a floor-length sequined, navy blue gown with a nice slit for the leg, opened the door, and watched four jaws drop.

"Yes,"

"Yes,"

"Yes,"

"Hell yes!" Courtney pumped her fist, "That's perfect!"

It did fit me rather well. I smiled before closing the door to take off the choice and put it on the empty 'keep' side. I handed the other tried dresses through the door, only to receive several shorter dresses for me to try on. After a few 'no's, I came to a black, one shoulder dress with a blue belt that could have been the same color as the bird on my uniform. The skirt itself was tight as a glove, but from the empire belt, several layers of chiffon petals floated neatly out, so that when I put it on, the dress seemed to have its own life. When I showed the panel of judges, they agreed.

"Wow," Kara gasped, "It's beautiful!"

"You look like a little bird," Cassie spoke as if that was the greatest compliment I could ever receive.

"I say it's a keeper," Courtney nodded.

_You look really gorgeous_, Megan agreed, nodding as well.

I smiled, and for the first time, I felt convinced that I could win.

When Monday dawned, it left only four days until the Homecoming Game, where the crowning ceremony would take place. The excitement was steadily building within me, and I felt like wherever I went on campus, I was glowing.

Jimmy's prediction of the top three was correct: the Homecoming Edition of the paper announced that Kara, Pamela and I were the top three. It was beginning to feel like a contest of who was more popular, me and Kara, or Dick.

So when Friday appeared, I was more than ready to see who would win.

Like almost all late October nights in Gotham, the field was nice and cold. My dad stood by my side, and Clark stood by Kara's. I could hear whoops and yells from the huge crowd that had flooded the stadium, but I tried to keep my head empty of anxiety. Next to me, Pamela kept tugging at the edge of her extremely form-fitting green dress. That combined with her bright red hair made her look like a plant. Dick had mentioned in passing once that Pam wanted to be a botanist, so perhaps that was the idea.

"And," the announcer said, drumming up the suspense, "This year's Homecoming Queen is…"

My dad squeezed my hand, and Kara was stiff enough to be a statue.

"Barbara Gordon!"

I was completely shocked. My dad wrapped me in a hug, getting to me just moments before Kara did. Together, we laughed and cried as I received my crown, sash and bouquet. The other girls each came over to congratulate me, but Pamela surprised me with a hug.

"You won't feel like you won soon." She whispered, but before I could even comprehend her threat, the crowd had shifted and she was gone. Roy appeared from where he had been waiting on the sideline to dip me into a purely Hollywood style kiss. I saw Diana and Bruce giving me a standing ovation from their seats on the upper level, and I waved to them, still not completely aware that I had won.

"Congrats Babs," I turned to see Dick standing behind me, "You deserved it." He offered a hand, and after a moment, I took it.

"Thanks Robin," I whispered, so that only he would hear. His eyes grew large, but I blinked and he was simply back to his reserved smile. He nodded and walked off to consol Pamela.

For a long moment, I wondered if I had made a mistake.

The Homecoming Dance was amazing; the music pounded at just the right volume so that I could feel it in my very bones, making it easy to dance too. Roy held me close through all of the dances, and I could have melted in his arms. Every once in a while, I saw my friends dancing through the night with their dates; Jimmy really had almost dropped when he saw Kara in her white dress, much to Courtney and Cassie's amusement. Megan had brought her pen pal, Jackson. Mentally, she explained to me that he was actually Aqualad up from Atlantis for a change, but I have no clue if he ever knew that I knew, so I kept that fact to myself. Cassie and Conner had actually paused long enough in their teasing to agree to go with each other, but even while they were dancing, I could tell that they were going strong. Courtney and Adam danced with each other in much the same style Roy and I did, except that they somehow managed to seem closer.

I thought I had seen Dick and Pamela once or twice in the crowd, but each time I thought I did, I was distracted by Roy again.

The night was going beautifully, until Roy and I decided to break for a moment so that I could take off my heels, and he could grab drinks. Roy had been gone for about two minutes when I felt someone beside me. I turned to find Dick sitting next to me, extremely relaxed.

"Where's your girlfriend?" I asked in an attempt to stop him before he started.

"I don't know, she said something about the bathroom." He shrugged and pinned me with sparkling blue eyes that told me I hadn't succeeded in stopping him, "Where's Speedy?"

"Getting us drinks," I said, almost annoyed.

"Cool," Dick said, not paying attention, "Wanna dance?"

The music had just shifted into a slow number, and my heart suddenly pleaded with me to accept.

"No," I said, "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Come on, Babs! Just one dance, and I won't bother you for the rest of the night." That seemed like as good of an excuse to accept as any, but I still hesitated. He covered my hand in his and leaned in, "Please?"

I couldn't say no; instead, I let him lead me onto the dance floor, gently pull me into his arms, and let myself lean my head on his shoulder. My heart ached as I was reminded of the time I had tried to get him to dance with me when we were eleven. It had been awkward at best, but I had been happy because I had been with him. Now I wanted so badly to just be his friend again, to believe that nothing had ever happened.

But he had shattered my heart with one sentence, and I didn't think I could ever let him that close to me again, if only to make sure he didn't hurt me again.

"Why can't this be real?" Dick whispered, as if reading my thoughts. I wanted to start crying, I was so torn.

"No," I whispered, pushing away, "No, I can't do this."

"Why not?" Dick pleaded, "Why can't you accept this?"

"I…I…" _I want it too much_. "I need some air."

Without a second glance, I turned on my heel and walked as fast as I could to the outside area, where the food and drinks were. I took a deep breath of the cool air and willed my worries away. But right when I opened my eyes, they returned.

Pamela was leaning on Roy, whispering in his ear. Instead of pushing away, he seemed to be in a daze, completely under her influence.

"Roy?" I called, and watched with Joy as he seemed to snap out of the spell, while Pamela turned to glare at me. "There you are," I said, as if I had merely been looking for him, "Oh, hello Pam," I stuck a fake smile on my face, "I think Dick was looking for you."

She returned my smile with a sickly sweet version, before turning to return to the dance. When she was out of sight, I let my breath out and turned back to Roy, who handed me one of the cups in his hand.

"What was that about?" I asked, holding the cup up to my lips; it smelled like some sort of apple cider, thick with cloves and cinnamon.

"Oh nothing, she tried to put the moves on me, and when I wouldn't have any of it, she tried harder," he smiled, as if that also explained his formerly dazed expression, "Everything ok with you?"

"Yes," I lied, and took a sip of the drink, "Think we could leave early? I'm getting kind of tired, and the dance is almost over anyway."

He surveyed me for a moment, and I prayed he would believe my lie.

"Ok," he said, offering me his arm, while downing his drink, "Let's go." I set my drink down on the table, not eager to finish it, and let him lead me out. I needed to be as far away from the crowd, and Dick, as possible.


	7. Chapter 7: Secrets

Things started to change after Homecoming; they were subtle at first, but after a while, they were impossible to ignore. Kori, Dick's earlier girlfriend, had been allowed back at school, this time wearing slightly less revealing clothes, and with a far less violent attitude. Mostly, she just seemed bored all the time. But for some reason, she decided to hang out with us. I couldn't fathom it, but I was preoccupied.

Ever since the chance encounter at Homecoming, Dick had started avoiding me and Roy had started disappearing randomly during the day. Dick studiously ignored me, and whenever it seemed like I was walking towards him, he would change direction. I didn't really care, it was probably better for both of us. But at the same time, I noticed Pamela disappearing from his side, mostly around the same time periods I couldn't find Roy. As it was, Roy refused to tell me where he was disappearing to, always finding easy ways to change the subject or turn the question back on me. He was acting strangely too, extremely distant when he was normally extremely close. Kara and Cassie noticed it too.

"You have got to figure it out!" Cassie said one night, throwing down a card while we waited patiently on the roof of some skyscraper for a crisis. "I can tell it's eating you up inside."

"Every time I try to ask, he turns it back on me!"

"So, follow him," Kara said nonchalantly, as if that solved everything.

"You want me to tail my boyfriend?"

"He clearly isn't being a good boyfriend, dear. But it's up to you to figure out why. He's not going to tell you."

"Where is he right now?" Cassie asked, as Kara picked up a card and passed the turn to me.

"At his apartment with Green, I suppose. His private time is his private time."

Cassie grinned, "Not anymore it isn't."

"What isn't anymore?" Megan asked, floating down to the roof. In her crime-fighting state, her skin was green, and her dark clothes included a hood. After Homecoming, she decided to just go ahead and tell Kara and Cassie as well. After that, we cornered Courtney and confirmed my belief. But tonight she was out fighting crime with her dad, so I already knew she wouldn't be joining us.

"Kara and Cassie want me to spy on Roy," I explained as Cassie offered Megan some cards.

"Why on earth would I start playing now?" she asked, thoroughly confused, "You're about to win when Babs puts down the Jack of Hearts."

Cassie dropped her cards with a sigh, allowing Megan to continue, "You probably should, honey, he's not being very trustworthy."

"Can't you just read his mind or something?" I whined. I really didn't want to have to stalk my boyfriend, lousy or no.

"Um…yea…about that…" Megan suddenly couldn't meet my eyes, "I've been meaning to tell you, I just haven't really been sure how to explain…"

"What's wrong?" I asked, now completely worried.

"Start with the problem," Kara suggested, reshuffling the cards.

"I can't read his mind."

"What?" We spoke in unison, and Kara sent the cards flying everywhere.

"I don't know!" Megan cried, "I normally check the minds of everyone around me, just to make sure nothing's really wrong, you know? But something happened Homecoming night, and now I can't read Roy's mind."

Three pairs of eyes turned to me, "What happened at the dance?" Kara asked.

"I—I don't know! We were dancing, and then he went to get us drinks, and then Di-" I cut myself off; I still hadn't told them what had happened. I really shouldn't have bothered though: they picked up on it right away.

"Explain." Kara commanded.

"Dick asked me to dance, and I knew I probably shouldn't have, and when we were dancing, I realized how much I missed him, and how much I really wanted to have my best friend again. It was like he could read my mind, because he asked me the same thing, and I panicked and ran away." I put my head in my hands.

"Hey…" Kara cooed, rubbing my shoulder, "It's ok to be scared; that's really all you are—scared he'll hurt you again."

"I couldn't have said it better," Megan said, "And I can read your mind."

"And then I went outside to get some air, and I saw Pam talking to Roy—god, she was practically on top of him—and when I walked up and she left, Roy acted like it was absolutely nothing."

Now I faced three concerned frowns.

"That's it," Cassie said, standing up, "we are going to figure this out."

"How?" I asked.

"She wants us to go find Pam and have me read her mind." Megan answered, standing and drawing up her hood.

"Do you guys even know where she is?"

"Give us a minute," Kara smiled, beckoning to Megan, "Can you connect us mentally or something? Just so that we can send an address when we find it?"

"Sure," Megan laughed, as if it was so easy, _we're connected right now._

It was a bit eerie hearing Megan in my head, and now being privy to Cassie and Kara. They could probably feel my anxiety regarding Dick.

_Only when you think about it, sweetie._

Kara and Megan took off to mentally survey Gotham while Cassie and I sat on the roof, waiting for an answer.

It took about five minutes before _Gotham Central_ echoed through our heads. It took another three minutes for us all to arrive at the Park in the middle of Gotham.

"Where is she?" I asked Kara, who had found her.

"Somewhere down there," she said, staring at the ground, "I can hear her, but I haven't actually—oh, wait, there she is!" She pointed to where Pam was talking with what looked like a tree.

"What is she talking to?"

"I don't know," Megan said shakily, "I can't get a fix on her either."

"Megan," I said suddenly, trying to think, "Have you had any trouble reading my mind since Homecoming?"

"Um, a little at first, for a few days, but it wore off,"

"Pam put something in the drinks when she was talking to Roy! I only had a sip, so it didn't last on me!"

"What is it then?"

"I don't know…"

"Well, whatever it is," Kara said, "Pam must have had some too. That's why Megan can't read her either. We'll have to get closer; there's too much interference up here for me to hear them."

We landed silently a few yards away from Pam, and, through Kara's brain, we heard everything.

"But Dick hasn't been the same since that stupid dance," she was complaining, "It's like he's avoiding me when he isn't in public, and I have no idea why!"

"Did you slip him the drug you gave Speedy and Bat-brat?" A new, gravelly voice asked from the shadows; I couldn't remember where I had heard it before.

"I tried, but he keeps avoiding having to drink it. I can't tell if it's because he knows or not."

"Get it to him; it's a mind control drug, and it's necessary for the success of our plan. If we don't have all the pawns in place, the King will survive."

"What role do the bat-brats play?"

The shadow chuckled—a nasty, grinding noise that made my hair stand on end, "Don't worry, you'll know soon enough."

_Someone's coming_, Cassie thought suddenly, and we ducked as one behind a bush. To my utter shock and amazement, Roy appeared, complete with mask and bow.

"I relocated all of the barrels, the location is ready."

"Wonderful," the shadow laughed again, making me want to grind my teeth, "We'll set our plan into motion on the next school holiday—Thanksgiving, isn't it?"

"Yes," Pamela answered, "I'm supposed to be having dinner with Dick and his family, including Bat-Brat."

"They won't make it to dinner," The voice laughed, "Now go, both of you, and make sure to get close with your dates; they must think everything is normal."

"Yes sir," both of them answered, before turning and leaving in different directions. The shadow seemed to shift, and suddenly, Kara thought _I don't hear anyone over there; it's like he teleported or something_.

_What are we going to do?_ Cassie asked, looking at me.

_Play them for fools. _


	8. Chapter 8: A State of Disbelief

"Dick, I need to talk to you."

Dick stopped his walk toward the changing area and turned to look at me, face devoid of emotion.

"It's important," I prompted, and he moved a few steps closer.

"If it's about Homecoming…" He started, clearly searching despite his lack of emotion.

"It's not, well not entirely," Why was this so difficult? "It's about what happened after."

"Look," he said, rolling his eyes up, "I just thought you would want space-"

"Would you shut up and let me talk? I'm not currently concerned about that: think of it as a topic for another time." I took a breath, then started again, "The girls and I found something last night, something worth knowing about Pam."

"Wait, so now you're trying to sabotage my relationship?"

"Stop jumping to conclusions and let me explain!" How hard was it to talk to this man? "It's about Roy too, ok?"

For once, Dick had nothing to say.

"Thank you," I said, and started again, "Now, then; last night, as I was discussing some personal matters with the girls, we came to the decision that we needed to do some research on Pam," I held up my hand to stop his counter-argument, "And when we found her, she was talking to somebody, but he was in the shadows and not even Kara could see him. She was talking to him about some plan of theirs. It included us—Dick, they were talking about drugging us and luring us somewhere. Then Roy showed up to and…" I trailed up, at a loss, "Point is, there is something going on, and we are gonna be hurt if we don't do something."

Dick took me in for a minute, before he just shook his head and walked away.

"Dick? Where are you going?"

He just kept shaking his head, but his message was clear.

He didn't believe me.

Thanksgiving break arrived without me making any leads on the case. The girls had given me plenty of help, as had Diana, but we still couldn't find out where the ambush was planned.

And that was mostly because Roy had suddenly glued himself to my side, spending every minute he could with me. It was nearly impossible to pretend to still love and trust him the way I had before.

Because that was what I had to do, we decided. After a week of trying to tail Roy and Pam had proved useless, I started to freak out a little.

"We're never going to find it at this rate," I exclaimed one night, throwing my night vision binoculars down in frustration. Kara, who had accompanied me that night, swiftly caught them before they could hit any unwary citizen.

"It's ok, Babs! We will figure this out—we will keep you safe!"

"Even if he doesn't manage to lure me to where ever his hell hole is, he could just decide to kidnap me!"

"If he thought he needed to kidnap you, he would have done it already."

That took me by surprise, "What do you mean?"

"Remember that night in the park? The shadow seemed under the impression that you had actually finished the drink, but you didn't! They think that you're ready to be controlled, but you aren't!"

"So? He'll figure it out soon enough! There are only so many excuses I can come up with as to why I can't be with him at all, and I'm running dangerously low."

"Then pretend," Kara whispered, almost maniacal, "If they think they have you under their control, they won't know what hit them when they realize you aren't."

"Ok, I can hold my own against Pam, and I might be able to hold off Roy, but what about that Shadow? I don't know a thing about him, and with the other two there, there's no way to say for sure that I won't need back up."

That one required a bit more thought. Kara drummed her fingers for a moment, thinking long and hard, until finally, "The shadow said that they wouldn't try until Thanksgiving Break, right?"

"Right,"

"Ok, then until Thanksgiving Break, we look for the hell hole with everything we've got. If break starts and we still haven't found it, then each night, one of us will stand guard until we know for sure that you're safe."

"But how long will that be? I live in a police household, I know all about police protection and surveillance on a witness; they'll just wait!"

"Would you stop being so damn depressing! God, it's like you're Debbie freaking Downer! We will keep you safe, and we always have a back-up plan! Babs, you have to believe it."

I took a deep breath, and tried to believe her. It was harder than I thought.

"So, just act like a normal doting girlfriend?" I finally relented.

"Exactly Babs, and don't worry, you'll make it past this completely intact."

I wondered if that would end up being true or not.

A week or so later, as I was walking across campus to my next class—the only one I had without a single one of my friends—I took the chance to look up. Across the quad, I saw Dick and Pam, having a rare close moment. They were both smiling and laughing, almost dancing in their embrace.

I couldn't believe it; even after my warning—even after I had told him the truth—he still believed Pam.

_Maybe she slipped him the drugs_ my mind thought frantically, _maybe he has no choice._

_Maybe he gave up on you._

_Maybe you warned him too late._

_Maybe you made a mistake._

I shook the thoughts from my head, willing and praying for them not to be true. I couldn't lose Dick that easily; he was smarter than that, far too sly to accept a drugged drink, or meal, or kiss. He had to know. He had to know that I was telling the truth—that his girlfriend was working towards killing both of us.

Right?

I began walking again, trying to put the thoughts out of my head.

"Babs?" I looked up to see Roy moving towards me. His call had caught Dick's attention too; he looked up to Roy the same moment I did.

"Hey honey," I smiled, trying to remember that I loved him.

"What are you doing over here?" He asked, apparently happily surprised by my tardiness.

"Oh, I'm just running late for class," I laughed.

"Let me walk you," He said, offering his arm. I was about to turn him down, trying to find a good excuse, when I glanced over at Dick. He gave me an almost imperceptible nod, before he turned his attention back to Pam, holding her hand as they walked away.

He knew.

He knew I was right.

"Sounds wonderful," I smiled as my heart soared, taking Roy's arm.

_Just a little bit longer_.


	9. Chapter 9: Bad Memories

Thanksgiving appeared, and we still hadn't found the hell hole. Kara and Diana formed a schedule of surveillance for both me and Dick, all though Dick was arguably harder to track than I was, considering I was taking the week off for 'family reasons'.

It wasn't a complete lie. My dad and I always spent Thanksgiving week together, or we had before the trip. This year, as Commissioner, my dad had a much more difficult time getting time off to spend with me. The time he wasn't home I spent with Roy, much to my general anxiety. Whoever had surveillance on my place at the time would follow us from a distance, making sure that Roy didn't try to take me. It was Wednesday before he finally got around to it.

That morning, my father was at work, and I was relaxing on my couch, reading a book. Kara was outside, watching my house as she and the others had done for five days straight. I had a huge cup of tea next to me to relax my nerves; I had no clue what Kara had, other than her unending optimism.

"Diana checking in," My mentor's voice echoed through the radio in my ear, "Report."

"This is Supergirl," Kara answered, "Nothing's happening over here."

"This is Nightingale," I added, "Supergirl's got it."

"This is Megan, I'm ready for shift switch."

"This is Star Girl, I'm ready for the switch too."

We all waited for Cassie to check in. A minute passed, and suddenly we heard static, with short bursts of what sounded like fighting.

"Megan, get to Nightingale's house," Diana ordered, "Courtney, get to the manor. Kara and I will find Cassie and resolve this."

"You two go now," I said, "I can hold my own for the five minutes it will take Megan to get here, and I'm sure Dick can too."

I could practically hear Kara's frown. "Fine," she said finally, "Radio if anything happens."

I settled back into my book, although I was unable to read past one sentence. My mind kept flipping back to Cassie. What on earth could have gotten to her?

A knock sounded at my front door, and my adrenaline kicked into overdrive. Sure enough, when I opened the door, Roy stood there, smiling his wild smile; now it seemed to be a hint of the insanity beneath.

"C'mon!" He said, "I found something and I really want to show you!"

"Where are we going?" I tried to sound bubbly.

"It's a surprise! C'mon, grab some shoes and let's go!"

"Ok," I laughed, "Let me grab my boots,"

"Oh please," Roy laughed, "You won't need those, just put on some sneakers!"

"Roy, you know I'll feel more comfortable with my boots," I tried to pout like a good girlfriend.

"But you won't need them," He said, pulling me into his arms, "I'll be right there next to you."

"Can I at least grab a jacket?" I batted my eyes, hoping that I could grab them anyway with my jacket.

"Here," he said, pulling off his leather jacket and holding it out for me to put on, "This will be warmer than yours."

"Thanks honey," I said, trying to keep the frustration out of my voice and pulling my sneakers over to me. He would never have let me get my boots, and I was supposed to be acting malleable. When I stood up, ready to go, he smiled and handed me a helmet.

I realized that I wouldn't get a chance to radio anyone, so I screamed _MEGAN!_ in my head as I put on my helmet, but she didn't respond. I wouldn't be able to tell them until I got to where I was going.

Roy took probably the longest, most out of the way route I had ever witnessed. He took every side street and even turned in circles. He knew someone might be following us.

"Where are we going?" I tried asking again.

"You'll see," he said, but the humor had left his voice. He turned another corner, and I realized we were in the warehouse district. My heart froze as he slowed, coming to a stop in front of an old, abandoned warehouse. I took off the helmet, and sneakily pressed the emergency call button on my comm unit. "A warehouse?" I asked, trying to put some laughter in my voice, and praying that the girls could hear me, "What are we doing here?"

"The surprise is inside," Roy said, but his voice had lost all warmth. A moment later, another car pulled up, and I felt my heart stop when I saw Dick and Pam get out. Dick's eyes widened for a moment when he saw me, but he quickly settled back into his uninterested attitude.

"What are we doing here?" Dick asked, bordering on annoyance.

"Come inside," Pam said, clinging to her boyfriend's arm. His eyes slid to me for a moment, as Roy put his arm around me.

"Yea," I said, trying not to make it sound forced, "I'm sure it will be fine."

He gave another miniscule nod, and began to walk forward, towards the door. Roy guided me in the same direction, almost holding me in place.

I screamed out for Megan again, but I still had no answer. I was on my own.

Roy opened the door, and all I wanted to do was run away.

The warehouse must have been used as a brewery once, because there were huge pools running along the walls. Between the vats, a raised walkway divided the building squarely in half, with branches reaching out to the various pools, as a means of pouring in ingredients. I could still see the scars on the walls from where various sharp objects had come in contact, and various barrels lay strewn across the room. But the most important detail was the thick coppery liquid that bubbled noisily in each of the pools, like a monster out of a horror movie.

I didn't even need those monsters to feel the flood of fear take over my body. This was the place, the place where I had my heart broken and my future changed. The place I had tried to forget three years ago.

The place I had never told Roy about.

"What's the big idea?" Dick sounded so thoroughly angry, but I was still stuck, reliving the worst night of my life.

"Oh, it wasn't his idea,"

The voice of my nightmares, the voice of the shadow came from the walkway; Dick and I jumped to see Clayman standing above us, his disgusting, melting smile plastered on his face. I wanted to vomit, scream, run away, anything at all other than stand there, staring into the face of the madman who led to the ruin of my former life.

Pam and Roy stepped away from us, moving until they were directly under Clayman, facing us.

"I took the liberty of infiltrating the minds of the people closest to you," Clayman continued, "They're both completely under my control. You two should have been too, but I can already tell that they must have failed."

Both Pam and Roy frowned, as if that was news to them.

"Ah well, it matters not." Clayman said, motioning to the vats behind him, "You two are still here, and I can still exact my revenge."

"Revenge for what?" Dick yelled, "You clearly weren't that affected by the bomb Batgirl put in you!"

"Oh little Boy Blunder, when you met me last, I had only recently become who I am; I could still feel pain. The bomb hurt me deeply, and caused me a two-year delay to right myself. Thankfully, the chemical that changed me so quickly once slowly completed my transformation. Now I feel no pain. Now, there is nothing you can do to me."

My fear doubled with hopelessness. I thought Dick might have looked over at me, but I was far too preoccupied with my thoughts. I felt his hand take mine, "Tonight won't be any different than last time. We will still win."

"It won't be different from last time? Whatever will dear Barbara do when you hurt her this time?"

My breath left me, and I felt Dick's hand squeeze mine.

"Don't you remember Robby? Last time, even after saving your life and preventing me from acting for two years, you still punished the little Bat-Brat, just because of who her daddy was. You can already see the shock she's in; are you really going to put her through that again?"

Dick turned to me and grabbed my shoulders. "Don't listen to them Babs, I'm not going to hurt you again—you know that I didn't mean it last time and I won't do it now."

His eyes were so desperate, they pulled my attention away from my thoughts. I began to focus on them, on those bright blue eyes, the same eyes I had met eleven years ago.

The eyes of my best friend.

The eyes of the boy who hurt me.

The eyes of the man I loved.

"Promises, promises," Clayman shook his head, then shot a stream of clay at us.

"Babs, get down!" Dick yelled, pushing me to the concrete floor. He had managed to get one hand behind my head, lessening the blow. "Did you bring your boots and cuffs?" Dick yelled, pulling me up and away from the clay.

"No," I said, trying to push my head into the present, "I didn't get a chance to," I turned on the radio in my ear, "Diana, do you read?"

"Oh Barbara, thank god," I heard crackling through the other end, "Where are you?"

"It's the warehouse from three years ago," I yelled, "Clayman's the shadow!"

Dick pushed me out of the way of another wave of clay, this one shaped like a fly swatter.

"Stay there," Diana yelled into my ear, "We'll be there soon!"

"How long until reinforcements?" Dick asked, pushing us into a corner where we could avoid the clay until Clayman moved.

"Their en route," I said, throwing off the jacket so that I had full mobility, "What do you have?"

"Mastery of martial arts?"

I sighed, and cracked my knuckles, "We just have to hold our own for a few minutes, the others will be here soon."

"Got it," Dick said, "I'll take Roy, you take Pam, and will just try to avoid Clay."

Before I could ask why I would possibly need to take on his girlfriend, an arrow landed at our feet, and we jumped in opposite directions. I landed at Pam's feet. She grabbed my hair, as if she was going to slam my head into the floor, but I used her momentum to land a punch on her jaw. She cried out stumbled backwards, letting go of my hair to grab her jaw. I used her distraction to sweep her feet and pin her, only to have to jump to avoid the clay fly swatter that came at me. I managed to dodge the clay, but it gave Pam the time she needed to recover and pin me.

"Told you I would get back at you," she hissed, as I struggled to move my arms.

"This is seriously about me winning Homecoming?"

"No, this is about the way my boyfriend would always stare at you when he should have been staring at me."

Her admission caught me off guard, but a moment later I threw her off me to pick her up by her hair.

"I am _so_ tired of your attitude," I said, "Do you have any clue how annoying you are?"

"Probably as annoying as this is enough for you to drop her and surrender."

I turned to see Roy holding Dick with a knife to his throat. I stared for a moment, trying to find any way out of surrendering. Roy pushed the knife deeper into the skin, evoking a worried grunt from Dick.

I let go of Pam and put up my hands, praying that the others would appear soon. Pam pulled my hands behind my back and led me up the stairs to the walkway, with Roy and Dick following close behind.

Clayman was leaning nonchalantly on the railing, smiling at us; I wanted to throw up again.

"Do you know what that liquid is?" He asked, motioning to the bubbling pools.

"Deadly?" I tried.

"Uncomfortable?" Dick suggested.

"It is a chemical," Clayman answered, annoyed with our answers, "The same chemical that made me, well, me."

I felt my stomach squeeze. Clayman reached out and wrapped me up in clay. "How about a demonstration?" He gurgled, his voice like gravel. I tensed and tried to pull away, and Dick fought out against Roy's iron grip. We shouldn't have bothered.

In the blink of an eye, Clayman had picked up Pamela and sent her flying into the closest pit. She didn't even get the chance to scream.

"Oh my god," I breathed, going into shock, "You killed her, you killed her."

"Just watch," Clayman breathed, as the liquid began to bubble harder. But she didn't appear, the liquid just kept bubbling. "Hm," the villain said, shrugging, "I guess I was wrong about her. Oh well, no big loss—we'll just keep trying." He picked me up and held me over the pit, dragging out the torture for both me and Dick.

"No!" Dick screamed, struggling harder, "Don't you care at all, Roy? I thought you loved her!"

Clayman laughed at that, "Roy hasn't loved Barbara for a while; he's been sleeping with young Miss Kori for a few weeks now."

My heart didn't break nearly as much as I thought it would. Maybe if I had heard that before Homecoming, I would have freaked out, but the knowledge that your boyfriend is actually trying to kill you kind of kills the love anyway. Still, I hurt a bit.

"Now, say goodbye to Miss Barbara, as clearly, we won't know if this is the last time you'll see her."

"No, no!" Dick screamed, "Let her go!"

"As you wish!"

Suddenly I was dropping, falling towards the liquid. I closed my eyes, praying that it would be quick.

But I didn't hit liquid. Arms closed around my waist and pulled me up and away. I heard someone else grunt, and opened my eyes to find myself in Megan's arms, as Kara took out Roy and Diana lassoed Clayman.

"Great timing," I breathed, as Megan set me down and handed me my boots and bracelets. "Where're Cassie and Courtney?"

"She got ambushed by some of Clay's henchmen. We got there in time to stop them, but Bats decided to take her back to the Cave to give her time to heal, and Courtney went with them."

"So that's how they knew. He came right after Kara left, and before you could get there."

"I couldn't hear you when I got to your house. Courtney couldn't find Dick either."

A slam pulled us back to the fight; someone had evidently brought Dick's belt, as he was now fighting Roy with a Bo staff while Kara and Diana took on Clayman.

"They're gonna need help with this one," I jumped forward, only to have to dodge one of Clayman's arms. I landed next to some of the barrels.

_Megan, tell Dick to give you one of his throwing bombs, I have an idea._

"Watch it!" I yelled, throwing one of the barrels at Clayman. It landed in his chest; I watched as he absorbed it, using the volume to make himself larger. Unsatisfied, I threw another barrel at the golem, only to watch him absorb that one too. I cracked the final barrel, so that it was leaking.

Dick knocked Roy out with one final hit, and tossed one of his throwing bombs to Megan.

"Be ready!" I yelled, and threw the last one, and watched as Megan attached the bomb to the surface right as Clayman absorbed the final barrel. "Get down!" I yelled.

The top of Clayman blew up, thanks to the three barrels of gasoline I had thrown into him. But unlike last time, his legs remained perfectly static as his obliterated top half spun rapidly around where he had been. Laughter echoed from seemingly nowhere as he started to rebuild himself; I covered my ears, trying to avoid the screeching noise.

So nobody noticed the vine creeping up the walkway, slowly growing around Clayman's leg until his laughter turned to a scream. He was shrinking, his melting face contorted into pain; it was as if the vine was absorbing him.

As he shrank, another vine grew out of the vat Pam had fallen in; this vine had a gigantic bud at the top that opened to reveal a woman with long, vibrant red hair, and pale green skin.

"You really should have thought that one through," she said, meeting Clayman's eyes.

"How?" He gasped, sounding more like an old man than his usual gravelly self.

"My roots can absorb materials, especially minerals like clay. Next time, think before you throw anyone in a vat."

"No…" he gasped, but then he was no more. Satisfied, Pam turned to look at me and Dick.

"Don't think for one second this is the last you'll see of me." She warned, filling me with a terrible sense of foreboding. The flower she was standing in snapped shut and shot back down underground, disappearing completely.

"It's done," I breathed, and with the deep breath, my adrenaline disappeared, bringing me to my exhausted knees, "It's finally over."


	10. Chapter 10: New Year, New Beginnings

The roster for Thanksgiving dinner at the Wayne's changed slightly from Wednesday to Thursday. Pam and Roy were no longer on the guest list, but Megan and her uncle were invited in their stead; Kara and Courtney were invited as well, but they already had plans with their respective families. Diana, Cassie and my Dad handled the change in guests easily, and all my dad knew was that Roy and I had fought, broken up and after he left, Roy had gotten into a terrible motorcycle accident and was therefore unable to make it.

Roy was in the hospital for quite a while, but I can't say I got to see him all that often. Whenever I went to go see him, Kori was at his side, and I really didn't want to interrupt that.

I started to have nightmares; I would wake up screaming, much to my dad's discontent. He had no idea why I was so shaken, and I couldn't come up with a good excuse. All I knew was that Clayman and the coppery liquid haunted me, and I was only able to wake up just before I hit the vat.

One night, however, I woke up before I started screaming; instinct had taken over, and although I didn't immediately realize it when I opened my eyes, I knew there was someone in my room. "Who's there?" I choked, my throat hoarse from sleep.

The light clicked on, revealing Dick in a pair of sweats, a t-shirt, and a very concerned frown. "What on god's green earth are you doing?" I asked, pulling my blanket closer to me out of habit.

"I'm worried about you," he said simply, "You haven't been acting like yourself."

I snorted, "Did you expect me to?"

"You've been jumping at the slightest noise, and you haven't been out patrolling since that night. Is there something wrong?"

I hadn't been out because I was afraid my exhaustion would show, or that I wouldn't be able to focus the way I normally did. But there was no way in hell I could tell Dick that.

"I just haven't been up to it." I lied.

This time, it was Dick that snorted. "Please," he said, walking towards be, "you've got to give me more credit than that. I've known you for eleven years, I know when you lie. Tell me what's wrong," he sat down on my bed and took my hand, "I want to help you."

I looked at his hands; it brought me back to right before the fight, when I was stuck reliving the pain of three years earlier and he had taken my hand. The memory came back; in my head I could see the fourteen-year-old with dagger eyes and a cold voice tearing me into pieces with his words. Dick squeezed my hand, and the cold blue eyes were replaced with the desperate blue orbs from just weeks ago, desperate for me to believe that he wasn't going to hurt me.

I opened my eyes and saw the same blue eyes, patient, worried yet calm as he waited for me to let it out. I couldn't hold it back anymore.

The minute I started crying, Dick wrapped me in his arms, whispering and cooing to me, petting my hair and back as I cried into his shoulder. I told him everything: the nightmares, the shadows, the gravelly voice and copper-filled images that haunted me relentlessly. He just held me tight, letting me cry it out until I fell asleep from exhaustion. When I woke up, he was still next to me, one arm wrapped lazily around my waist as he slumbered on, oblivious to my consciousness.

It was like a circle had been completed somehow; I watched him sleep, and for the first time in three years, I knew my best friend was next to me.

As the weeks passed and we headed into the Christmas holiday, Dick and I slowly regained the relationship we had been missing for so long. My dad was quite happy to find that I had finally repaired things between me and Dick, and didn't blink at all when it was Dick picking me up for school in the morning instead of Kara or Cassie. Diana seemed happy to hear it too; I think she had recognized Dick's growth from the moment I left the warehouse the first time, she was just waiting for me to see it. My girls welcomed him with open arms, happy to see him relaxed and casual again.

It was two weeks before Christmas when I realized that I had things to resolve before I could be with Dick though. Dick and I were silently enjoying each other's company in my room, Dick reading a book and me listening to music, leaning against him. I had my eyes closed, letting myself drift with the music, when I felt Dick put the book down and shift, pulling me into an embrace.

"Do you want to go out with me?" He asked, completely genuine. When I hesitated though, he started to frown.

"Don't get me wrong Dick, I do want to be with you," I smiled, running my fingers along his jaw line, "But there's something I have to resolve first."

"Roy," he said knowingly.

"I haven't seen him since we got him in the hospital. I can't avoid the issue, especially if I want to date you. Wait for me?" I asked, knowing that, at this point, I probably didn't deserve it. Dick picked up my hand and brought my fingers to his lips, mulling it over while he gazed at me.

"I'll ask you again in a few weeks," he decided, "Do you think you'll be ready by then?"

I smiled, so thankful that he was willing to wait for me.

I hate hospitals. Once, when my dad had been shot during a raid on a gang's headquarters, I had to wait for eight hours in the bleached halls to hear if he would be ok or not. I can't stand the smell of antiseptic, or the steady beeps from the machines all of the patients are hooked up to. But I didn't have a choice; I had to get it all out if I wanted to move on with Dick.

I paused in the doorway of Roy's room; the drugs that once clouded his brain made him fight longer than he normally would have, making Dick have to work twice as hard to beat him, and, as a result, give him twice as many injuries. It had also taken a while to get all traces of the drug out of his system. Apparently, in the first week of treatment, he would have random episodes of rage, fighting anything he could reach until he was sedated. The last I heard from Kori before school broke for Christmas was that he finally got it all out. It had been two weeks since the fight, and the bruises had started to fade.

Kori wasn't in the room, for once, so I took the seat she normally sat in. Roy's eyes stuck to me the entire time, obviously unsure as to why I had only now shown up.

"Hi," I started weakly, starting to lose my nerve.

"You didn't have to come, Babs; I would have understood completely if I never saw you again."

"Given our profession, I don't think that's very likely," I laughed emptily, suddenly wanting to do anything other than break the boundary between us.

"Then why come?"

I took a deep breath, and stared at my hands. "When…when Clayman was holding me over the pit that night," I put up a hand to stop his interruption, "Let me finish; he mentioned that you had been sleeping with Kori for weeks by that point. Given my history with distrustful actions, I'm sure you would probably think that I hate you for that. But, the funny thing is, I don't. My heart didn't shatter when he told me, my spirit didn't break. I think I kinda already knew that something was up—well aside from the whole mind-controlled by Clayman thing. It just makes me think that maybe we were already ending, you know?"

Roy breathed out a sigh and stared up at the ceiling, "At first, I was sure it was the drugs influencing me. But after a few times with Kori, I realized that it wasn't just the drugs. I didn't love you anymore; I cared more for Kori, and I wanted to be with her more than I wanted to be with you. Clayman wanted to use it to break you again, and he thought that was all it was—a ploy to hurt you, that it didn't mean anything. But that's not true, it meant everything. Besides, I started to notice the looks you were giving Dick when you thought no one was looking, and the looks he was giving you when you weren't looking. I knew I didn't stand a chance against him; even if he hurt you once, he was your best friend for a reason, and I was sure that that reason would resurface."

"So," I said, "We can say for sure that we're done, and that there aren't any hard feelings?"

"That's better than what I had hoped for," he laughed a bit, but it was empty too, "I'm sorry I tried to kill you."

"I'm sorry you got pulled into a three-year grudge match."

"Fair enough," he extended a hand, "Even?"

"Even," I smiled, taking his hand. I stood up to leave, but he stopped me when I got to the door.

"For the record, the rest of it was real."

"I know," I smiled.

"Good," he relaxed back into his pillow, "Tell Dick I said 'hi'."

Christmas was relaxing for a change, with even the criminals taking it off. My dad and I enjoyed a day to ourselves, watching Christmas specials and ordering take-out for dinner—a Gordon tradition.

Kara had organized a cookie exchange, and she had jokingly given me bat-shaped double chocolate cookies. I had given her 'S'-shaped honey cookies though, so we were kind of even.

Cassie and Diana gave me a joint gift of a lasso similar to theirs; apparently the gods had given it to Hippolyta under the direct instruction that it was to come to me. It was bright, glowing silver material that I was assured was indestructible, and could induce paralysis, as well as offering me the protection of Artemis and Athena, who had created it. I had earned the blessings of the gods.

Dick's gift, however, had to be my favorite. The tiny box he gave me revealed a gorgeous necklace: a replica of my nightingale carved from one single sapphire. Dick claimed that it was lab created, but after he left, I studied it with a microscope and found several small impurities that would only be present in a real sapphire. I was quite touched. When my dad asked Dick why he would give me a necklace of a superhero logo, Dick just laughed.

"People are starting to form fan clubs for superheroes Mr. Gordon; they're far more respected now, and people are starting to make merchandise reflecting various logos. Luckily, Nightingale is quite popular in Gotham, and it just seemed to fit Babs."

"Don't go giving her too many ideas, Grayson," my dad laughed, walking back to the kitchen, "she just might actually copy one of them." I don't quite remember laughing so hard.

It turns out that when the Wayne household decides to throw a party, it is automatically a huge affair. Dick and Bruce agreed to let Dick have the front ballroom, while Bruce could have the living room and study. The Ballroom held the grand staircase that looked like something out of a Disney movie; in honor of the occasion, Bruce had a huge clock set on the wall right behind the staircase, perfectly centered to the point that it seemed framed by the twin sides of the stairs. Most of the kids from school were there, including our friends and the group of sycophants that used to crowd Dick everyday—thankfully, they had learned to tone it down.

The party was wonderful fun, as we tried to complete every pre-new-year tradition known to man, like serving long noodles and black eyed peas. The music blasted, encouraging everyone to dance; I found myself dancing with Dick almost the entire evening, laughing as he swung me around, even lifting me sometimes. I felt like a princess.

But at one minute to midnight, Dick pulled me up to the bottom of the grand staircase, right below the clock. We joined the echo of people counting down the minute, until about twenty seconds to.

"Hey Babs," Dick said suddenly. I was trying to focus on both him and the clock, constantly looking back and forth as the crowd continued to chant.

"Hm?" I asked, trying to pay attention and count at the same time.

"Remember a few weeks ago, when I asked you a question, and you only gave me a half-answer?"

"Yea," I said slowly, starting to focus on him more than the clock.

"Well," He said, drawing it out.

_TEN, NINE, EIGHT_

"If I ask you again, will I get a different answer?"

_SEVEN, SIX_

"Yes," I smiled, "It would be very different."

_FIVE, FOUR_

"What would it be then?"

_THREE, TWO_

I leaned forward and kissed him, threading my arms around his shoulders as the rest of the room erupted into cheers. I could feel Dick smile into the kiss, and he pulled me close to spin me around.

_Should auld acquaintance be forgot _

_And never brought to mind?_

We parted for a moment, looking out to see the rest of the room laughing and singing, sharing kisses as we just had.

_Should auld acquaintance be forgot_

_And auld lang syne._

Dick spun me again, both of us laughing all the while.

_For auld lang syne, my dear_

_For auld lang syne._

In the crowd I could see Kara laughing as Cassie and Conner kissed for what appeared to be the second time, before she was pulled into a kiss with Jimmy.

_We'll take a cup of kindness, yet_

"Happy New Year, Babs," Dick smiled.

_And auld lang syne._

"Happy New Year, Robin."


	11. Chapter 11: Epilogue

The strong hand wrapped around mine guided me into a soft seat of some kind. I could feel him step back before he pulled the blindfold from my eyes.

"Tada!" Dick presented the inside of a Jetstream, probably one of Bruce's, "Happy Birthday, Babs."

"Where are we going?" I probably sounded like a little school girl, but I hadn't traveled since I had returned to Gotham a little under four years ago.

"Wherever you want," Dick grinned. I smiled and leaned in to give him a kiss.

"Well," I said, "I remember a nice restaurant in Paris,"

"Oh?" he said.

"Yea," I said, running my hands down until I was loosely holding his jacket, "If I recall correctly it's next to a nice hotel that over looks the Rive la Seine."

"Sounds good to me," Dick grinned, and motioned to the Captain, who nodded and disappeared into the cockpit. "We won't be disturbed until we land."

"Wonderful," I smiled, kissing him again.

It had been three and a half years since we kissed on New Year's Eve, confirming our relationship to all of Gotham. In that time, I had moved with Dick to Bludhaven when he took up the Nightwing mantle, and retired Nightingale to focus on my information-gathering skills, which I used to help Dick when he went out on patrol. Bruce had found a new Batgirl and Robin, Cassandra and Jason, respectively. I often sent them information, as well as training techniques.

I still picked up the mantle every once in a while, when I was needed, but mostly, Nightingale had been put to rest. I was now the Oracle, information-broker extrordinaire. I took a moment to look at the ring on my finger, announcing that I was the fiancé of Dick Grayson, heir to the Wayne fortune. I thought of the necklace resting neatly just below my collarbone, and the silver belt around my waist, what my lasso had transformed into after my last night on the job, verifying who I once was.

My life began the day I met Dick Grayson, and I knew that when it one day ended, I would still be with him.

Life was good.

_Thank you so much to everyone who read this. I started this story years ago, and I've rewrote it a few times since, but this is the only version I've been infinitely happy with. I plan on writing Memiors for the other superheroines as well, such as explaining what happened in Gotham during Barbara's absence, how Kara became Supergirl, and how Cassie coped being thrown from the ancient traditions of the Amazons into the ultra-modern Gotham City. Hopefully I can get those out soon!_

_Thanks again!_


End file.
